As part of Dapper Cadaver’s ongoing Monster Monday’s project today I bring you the most horrible thing Switzerland has ever produced, the Butatsch Ah ILgs.

The Butatsch is a great and terrifying amorphous blob, like a swollen stomach, but covered with leering eyes that can shoot fire. The Butatsch lived at the bottoms of lakes, at the gateways between earth and hellish neitherworlds. The fire from its eyes was the very same as the hellfire of eternal damnation.

For I think obvious reasons, no fishermen would fish in the waters where the Butatsch was said to dwell, but the beast was so feared that no shepherd would allow there sheep to graze on any hillside facing his infernal lake.

Since no Butatsch has ever been photographed, the part of the Butatsch is being played by a Stichopus Sea Cucumber.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver blogs Monster Mondays, I bring you a king amongst Chinese Dragons – Long Wang!

Long Wang is a serene type of dragon and the specific dragon of the “Year of The Dragon” part of the Chinese zodiac. They presides over watery weather and scaly creatures like lizards and fish.

Being in charge of water and rain, Long Wangs often dribble themselves with dewdrops or come in floods.

The noble Long Wang does not understand why Westerners constantly snicker around it and laugh behind Long Wang’s back.
Treat the mighty Long Wang with awe and respect.

Today Dapper Cadaver’s Monster-a-day project brings you the our first monster from the Middle East. These creatures are known as the Redjal El Marja and they are giants with the torso of a Djinn (Genie) and the tail of a fish, making them three monsters in one, the Giant Genie Merman. If only one were bitten by a cursed wolf, then you’d have a Giant Genie WereMer

Unlike most Mers, the Redjal live in marshlands, mostly near the town of Marrakech in Morrocco. Their name translates to “Men of the Marshes”

Aside from the occasional human wandering into the marsh and earning himself a curse, a wish, or a murder at the hands of the Redjal, the townsfolk and the mermen were able to coexist for quite some time. But as Merrakech expanded, the decision was made to drain the marsh.

Made vengeful by the loss of their muddy homeland, the Redjals slithered into the canals and up to the reservoir which supplied every well and fountain in Merrakech with drinking water. The Redjals threatened to pollute the water and make it undrinkable.

When a man that big threatens to pollute your water supply it can only mean one thing. The people of Merrakech posted signs around the reservoir saying things like “Please enjoy our ‘ool. Notice there’s no “P” in it. Please keep it that way” But to know avail.

Finally the monsters and men reached an agreement by offering the Redjals tribute and setting candles around the water supplies, which really helped the Redjals to relax

Today the Dapper Cadaver blog brings you the Japanese Baku, the monster that eats nightmares

Baku are described as something like a monster tapir, or more specifically, having a head something like an elephant, a body something like a large and fat horse, the mane of a lion, and the legs and paws of a tiger.

In your early waking moments, you may call for the Baku, or the Baku may find you while hunting nightmares. The Baku feeds on nightmares. Don’t open your eyes though because seeing it may cause new ones. It uses it’s trunk to hold the nightmares and suck them up like a vacuum cleaner. Once the nightmare is eaten, you won’t remember it happening.

And this is why so many people forget their dreams right before they wake up.

Monster sketch from this awesome site Monster alphabet blog

The above image actually may be a concept art depiction of the Cloverfield Monster, but it reminds me of the Miqqiayuuq, so thats what I’m calling it. In fact, just like the Cloverfield Monster, there are no clear images or depictions of the dreaded Miqqiayuuq, so the similarity may be more than superficial.

The Miqqiayuuq is a giant, dark, hairy and most terrifying of all – faceless sea monster from the icy depths of Canada’s Hudson Bay and surrounding iced over fresh water . Miqqi, as his friends call him, though he has no friends, lurks in the depths, usually only seen as a great heaving dark shape.

This demonous monster would slide beneath the ice whenever the local Inuit came to the waters edge to fish or collect water, and he would reach our with his arms like tree trunks and great clawed hands and flip over their buckets and…
Thats it. That’s all he’s ever been recorded doing. More of a nuisance really, spilling fish and water. Or maybe just an excuse used by drunk ice fisherman as to why they returned empty handed. With all that size and sheer terror-ness it seems like kind of a waste. Maybe Cloverfield happened because Miqqi realized he could do so much more than be The Monster Who Flips Buckets.
New York isn’t that far from the Hudson.

Happy Valentines Day from Dapper Cadaver’s Monster-a-Day blog! In honor of Valentines Day I dug deep into world folklore to find the sexiest monster to ever walk the earth. Sure voluptuous mermaids, seductive succubus, or studly centaurs are pretty hot, but for sheer sexiness, nothing is beats a big set of balls. And for big balls, nothing beats the Japanese Tanuki.

The Tanuki is a kind of Raccoon-Dog with a fat belly and a big hat. He’s usually seen carrying a bottle of sake because he’s drunk and rowdy, and an unpaid bill, which he will never pay. Tanuki also have gigantic balls, and since scrotum skin can change shape, Tanuki can wrap themselves in their own scrotums to turn into anything. Like most shapeshifters, Tanuki are rowdy, playful, lusty, and clever. Definitely a classic trickster, Tanuki run the gamut of being lucky like leprechauns to malicious like hobgoblins, but most falling in between – mischievous.

By now I’ve probably gotten you so steamed up your just dying to see those balls. Well, here are a few of my favorite Tanuki with giant balls images. Just google tanuki for thousands more. The Japanese love these guys and put them everywhere.

NSFW!
A giant Tanuki whose balls dwarf a tourist

Tanuki doing the classic “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” pose, except no one is covering their balls and they all have huge erections

Tanuki using their scrotums as drums and sleeping bags

Tanuki beating japanese business men silly with their giant balls

Wow. That was hot. That should put you love birds in the mood. Happy Valentines day!

As part of Dapper Cadaver’s ongoing Monster-a-Day project I bring you an odd little nursery bogie from a land without nurseries – The Yara-Ma-Yha-Who of Australia.

These short little men resemble some sort of bad acid dream muppet. They’re 4 ft tall, with red skin, huge round heads, round glowing eyes, big toothless frog mouths, chubby bellies, and weird little arms and legs. They’re arms end in tentacles, which they use to hang from strangler fig trees and to suck the blood out of disobedient children.

These Yha-Who’s also like to swallow children whole with their giant mouths. Children must be very salty though, because often the Yha-Who grows so thirsty that it drinks until it throws up the child, still alive and intact, but somehow noticeably smaller than before

A great page on the Yha-Who can be found here

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Monster-a-day project today I bring you the Yeti, a familiar monster with an unfamiliar history.
The Yeti or Yeh-Teh of Tibet and Nepal have been seen since time immemorial, and appear in several ancient Buddhist works of the region. Many believe the Yeti is an demon ape who converted to Buddhism. They were first seen by westerners in 1951 on Eric Shipton’s ascent of Mt. Everest. The Yeti is described as a large, hairy ape man who walks erect. His fur is usually dark, but sometimes white to blend with the snow.
Yeti fits the description of the believed to be extinct Gigantopithecus a 10 ft tall ape species who lived 100 thousand years ago in China. Many believe the worlds most remote locations still hold Gigantopithecus.
The above image comes from Polish born sculpter-painter-illustrator Stanislav Szulkalski. Szulkalski believed he had discover evidence of a secret history of mankind, in which modern man first appeared in Easter Island where they were subjugated by Yeti. Ever since modern man spread out to populate the world Yeti have been responsible for nearly all the evil and calamity that has befallen us. This pseudoscience he named Zermatism, and the original people The Protong. He wrote a 40 volume fully illustrated encyclopedia on Zermatism. Excerpts of the encyclopedia, and illustrations can be seen here

““Those that saved themselves from drowning, noticed that these creatures also had the fortune to survive, so they named them accordingly, everywhere on this globe in one language, my Protong. The present name Sasquatch was then ‘Sa Z Gladz’, which means ‘Here From Destroyed’ (i.e. the deluged continent)” (p75-6).”

Yeti also cross bred with people to form a race known as Yetisyn, abominations to Szulkalski. Yetisyn were adopted as highest level humans to the postmodern cult, the subgeniuses.

” SubGenii often refer to one another as “Yeti” (or yetynsyni), though this origin story is generally not well known outside of the Church itself. The heritage of the Yeti is said to give SubGenius members access to magical powers, an ability to psychically overpower non-yetisyn and way more hair on their ass than your average half-evolved monkeyboy. “

As part of Monster-a-Day on the Dapper Cadaver Blog, today I bring you “The Scissor-man”

Children need to be taught that actions have consequences and bad behavior will result in trouble, even when the parents are away. Sure, you could tell a kid that if he sucks his thumb his teeth will come in crooked and everyone will tease him, but he’s not going to believe that.

He will believe that a long legged supernatural tailor will come in through the window and cut through the bones of his thumb with giant silver scissor. Plus it’s more fun to say.

These are called Nursery Bogeys. For every naughty behavior there is a monster who exists to punish it. Parents and nannies have relied on nursery bogeys to be scare their kids into good behavior for centuries.

The Scissorman is one of the most famous, featured in the story book and opera Struwwelpeter / Shock Headed Peter.

What he does with the thumb is never explained. But then again neither is what the tooth fairy (a benign nursery bogey) does with those teeth. Which always worried me as a child.

I’m watching you, kiddies