Monster-a-Day: Tanuki

Happy Valentines Day from Dapper Cadaver’s Monster-a-Day blog! In honor of Valentines Day I dug deep into world folklore to find the sexiest monster to ever walk the earth. Sure voluptuous mermaids, seductive succubus, or studly centaurs are pretty hot, but for sheer sexiness, nothing is beats a big set of balls. And for big balls, nothing beats the Japanese Tanuki.

The Tanuki is a kind of Raccoon-Dog with a fat belly and a big hat. He’s usually seen carrying a bottle of sake because he’s drunk and rowdy, and an unpaid bill, which he will never pay. Tanuki also have gigantic balls, and since scrotum skin can change shape, Tanuki can wrap themselves in their own scrotums to turn into anything. Like most shapeshifters, Tanuki are rowdy, playful, lusty, and clever. Definitely a classic trickster, Tanuki run the gamut of being lucky like leprechauns to malicious like hobgoblins, but most falling in between – mischievous.

By now I’ve probably gotten you so steamed up your just dying to see those balls. Well, here are a few of my favorite Tanuki with giant balls images. Just google tanuki for thousands more. The Japanese love these guys and put them everywhere.

A giant Tanuki whose balls dwarf a tourist

Tanuki doing the classic “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” pose, except no one is covering their balls and they all have huge erections

Tanuki using their scrotums as drums and sleeping bags

Tanuki beating japanese business men silly with their giant balls

Wow. That was hot. That should put you love birds in the mood. Happy Valentines day!