As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog Monster a day project, today I bring you the Fearsome Critters

Fearsome Critters arouse as tall tales told by American Lumberjacks. Whether they were drunk, trying to amuse each other, playing pranks on rookies and city slickers, or trying to explain odd creatures or phenomenon is debatable. Probably all of the above.

Fearsome critters are notable for their awesome names and rediculess nature. They are as follows-

Humany Beasts

* Agropelter
* Hyampom Hog Bear
* Tote-road Shagamaw
* Whirling Whimpus

Quadrupeds

* Axehandle hound
* Central American Whintosser
* Flittericks
* Funeral Mountain Terrashot
* Gumberoo
* Glawackus
* Gyascutus
* Hugag
* Jackalope
* Sidehill gouger
* Squonk
* Teakettler
* Tripodero
* Wampus cat
* Whangdoodle
* Wapaloosie

Miscellaneousupeds

* Hidebehind
* Snow Wasset

Fish

* Fur-bearing trout
* Goofang

Serpents

* Hodag
* Hoop snake
* Joint snake
* Snoligoster

As part of Dapper Cadaver’s Monster-a-day project I bring you the Bapets. These were a race of female cannibals from the American West who were one of many races of cannibals who terrorized the Native Americans.

Bapets had enormous breasts filled with poisonous milk that could kill instantly. They had a taste for young children, whom they would kidnap, suckle, kill, and eat their dismembered bodies

Bapets lived forever, and could only be killed by obsidian arrows.

Indian mothers used legends of Bapets to scare their youngsters (and presumably husbands) not to be taken in by friendly, attractive strangers.

Bapets have been seen in the American Southwest as recently as 1988.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog “Monster-a-Day” Project I bring you the Greek giant Polybotes.

What caught my eye about this brute was the story of his birth.
Polybotes was born when Zeus castrated Uranus and Uranus’s penis blood fell to earth (Gaea) fertilizing her with a race of giants.

You don’t see that everyday. Not even on the internet.

Polybotes and his brothers known as Gigantes declared war on the gods and got their asses handed to them. Polybotes was personally defeated by Poseidon, making him the only non-human Poseidon ever defeated. The Telemundo show Sabado Gigante is named in their memory.

He’s described as having snakes for legs and snakes heads for toes, but no one ever draws him that way. Except the guy below, who uses the snake-leg thing mostly to get Polybotes to spread eagle and show of his giant’s ass. Usually he’s shown as a giant, an ogre, or even a regular sized guy.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog “Monster-a-Day” Project I bring you the Greek giant Polybotes.

What caught my eye about this brute was the story of his birth.
Polybotes was born when Zeus castrated Uranus and Uranus’s penis blood fell to earth (Gaea) fertilizing her with a race of giants.

You don’t see that everyday. Not even on the internet.

Polybotes and his brothers known as Gigantes declared war on the gods and got their asses handed to them. Polybotes was personally defeated by Poseidon, making him the only non-human Poseidon ever defeated. The Telemundo show Sabado Gigante is named in their memory.

He’s described as having snakes for legs and snakes heads for toes, but no one ever draws him that way. Except the guy below, who uses the snake-leg thing mostly to get Polybotes to spread eagle and show of his giant’s ass. Usually he’s shown as a giant, an ogre, or even a regular sized guy.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog “Monster-a-Day” Project I bring you today’s monster all the way from Fiji (home of my favorite mermaids by the way).

This giant’s name is Flaming Teeth, and it is well known he would win in a face off with the Flaming Lips.

Flaming teeth was a giant who ate men on the Fijian archipelago. He was so large that his teeth were full sized wooden logs that always burned. He was the first person on Fiji to cook his food, which he did while chewing.

Flaming teeth would terrorize the Fijians everyday, not just eating them, which would have been bad enough, but reeking havoc on their villages as well. And when a giant is reeking anything it must be stopped. So a band of braves came together with a plan – they lured it under a cliff and smashed it’s skull with boulders. The teeth were still burning, so the Fijians took the flaming teeth back to the village, and that is how they discovered fire.

The top image is from burningman.com and the photo is by Tristan Savatier. The image below is by Macula, who has many awesome illustrations of monsters at Macula.tv.

If you’d like to get some teeth and light them on fire, we do have teeth props at dapper cadaver

Here’s a creature that’s been sighted from St. Augustine Florida to the Bahamas – The Giant Octopus, also known as the Lusca or St. Augustines Octopus.

While scientists have recently proven the existence of Giant Squids, there’s not yet any conclusive proof of Giant Octopus.

The creature in the photo is estimated to be over 200 ft long. Octopus are known to be aggressive, and the it’s quite likely that many Kraken stories and Bermuda Triangle stories are actually Lusca stories.

Todays monster is in honor of my new flickr group Octopus on Yo Head

For your own baby Lusca, click here

For more info on the Lusca visit the Shadowlands Sea Serpent page

These monsters were giants who were feared cannibals in ancient India. They had iron faces, and only one leg . Despite difficulty moving, they were ferocious hunters and feed exclusively on human flesh. They were territorial, and ate anyone who entered they’re territory.

– from Giants, Monsters, and Dragons. By Carol Rose

Today I’m launching a new feature on the Dapper Cadaver Horror Blog – THE DAILY MONSTER

Everyday (give or take)I’ll be posting a new monster from around the world, and beyond. Every beast from the cthulhu-like Abao-Aqu of Malay to the great snake Zuzeca of the Lakota Suix.

Today I start with one of my all time favorites – The Krampus.

The Krampus hails from Austria and the nearby parts of Europe. On Dec 7th (my birthday, hint hint) Krampuses travel through villages seeking out naughty children, beating them with flails, clubs, and switches. If the child happens to have a hot mom or older sister, the Krampus will employ his ridiculously long tongue to make out with her. Especially bad children will be hauled off to hell in a basket.

In the picture above, the Krampus are the two guys on the right. To their left is St. Nick, and fortunately, Dec 7th is also St Nicolis day. But here’s the thing, Jolly Old St. Nick doesn’t drive the awfull Krampus away. No, they’re buddies. St Nick will just hand out gifts to the good kids and laugh joyfully while Krampus beats the snot out of the bad kids. As illustrated hear in this vintage postcard.

In fact, the two are so buddy buddy they even have been known to carpool together, in what would no doubt make the coolest clean cop/loose cannon TV detective team ever. As illustrated in the below Christmas card from all of us at Dapper Cadaver to all the good and bad children of the world.

Gruss Von Krampus! [greetings from krampus]