Monster Mondays: Mutant Unicorns

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unicorndeer_2, originally uploaded by Boju.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog’s ongoing Monster Monday’s project, today I bring you the strangest perversion of a prevision of nature ever, The Mutant Unicorn. The Mutant Unicorn is proof that mankind as a species is little more than the 8 year old daughter of Dr. Frankenstein. We just want them to be real so bad, we’ll do anything to make it happen. The inbred little fellow above is a unicorn deer born in captivity in Italy. Park keepers are saying it’s just a genetic flaw, but I suspect the meddling hand of science.

The earliest mutant unicorn came in 1930, as a result of tinkering by the mad Dr. Dove of Maine. Hypothesizing that in a newborn horned animal the horn growing plate would not yet be fused to the skull, he cut into the head of a baby bull, removed both of it’s horns nodes and grafted them right between the eyes. The results are below

As a calf the bull discovered that it could charge any other bull and win, and for fear of having their brains impaled on a massive horn, all other bulls became submissive to it. Interestingly rather than becoming a, ahem, bully, the bulls dominance over the herd was so solid he rarely had to but heads or charge anyone. He did discover that his curved forhead horn was perfect for uprooting fences, and he loved to tear up peoples yards. Damn Unicorn Bull’s in the tomatoes again!

Our next Mutant Unicorn also came from the 30’s, behold the Unicorn Man of China.

Ripley wanted to place this man in his exhibit as the human unicorn, but he disappeared like an elusive unicorn not long after his photo was first taken. The mythical spiral horn was most likely a tumor.

During the cold war, atomic radiation could turn anything into lethal radioactive mutants, even unicorns!

When I was a kid in the eighties some “Naturalists” (read :Hippies) decided to create a Unicorn from a goat. They also “magically” removed the billy goats foul odor and grumpy disposition. IE, they did another Dr. Dove skull graft job, and removed his billy balls. The naturalists were named Morning Glory and Otter G’Zell (read: mega space hippies). They took they’re beautiful goaticorn on tour to county fairs and in the RIngling bros circus, which is where I saw it. While it was rather underwhelming to see a goat billed as a unicorn, one can’t deny that it only had one horn.


Otter G’Zell is currently headmaster at the Grey School of Wizardry, and wow, his story is so weird, just google it. Most recently his goaticorn appeared for a split second in a chewing gum commercial in which Snoop Doggy Dog goes to hell. I thought I was delirious until my wife confirmed my vision

The most recent mutant unicorn to pop up is this mutant horsicorn. Although this image is of unconfirmed validity. Some claim the horn is a painful growth, others claim it’s a work of art, and others claim it’s a unicorn. I believe someone may have finally had the brilliant notion of grafting a horn node onto a baby horses head. Now how can we graft on giant eagle wings to make a pegacorn?

As with Otter G’Zell’s goaticorn, the deericorn is attracting a devoted following of new age believers. Amazing what a little post-natal skin graft can do.

Dark Spots in Tinsel Town part 2

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zombie zoo 57, originally uploaded by Boju.

There are so many great weird and spooky locations in Hollywood. I couldn’t fit them all in one post. For the haunted tourist, more dark destinations. And remember, no trip through the horror’s of Hollywood is complete without a stop at Dapper Cadaver, 5519 Hollywood Blvd

1. The Abandoned Zoo – A very post apocalyptic part of LA where you get to crawl through the caves and onto the rusted cages of the old zoo. “Zombie Zoo” (above) was shot there. In Griffith Park, it shares a parking lot with the Merry Go Round, keep hiking west, not far from the parking lot.

2. Cipher – an art gallery that sells molding old statuary, metal bolted to skulls, and other items for the gothic home and garden.
165 1/2 S. Fairfax Ave.

3. The “Halloween” House
1530 & 1537 Orange Grove Ave., L.A., 1000 Mission St in Pasadena
Halloween’s Haddonfield, Ill., was actually a neighborhood in hip west LA. Jamie Lee Curtis’ friends were killed in 1537 Orange Grove Ave.—a house renovated almost beyond recognition. Much of the exteriors were shot in Pasadena.

4. House on Haunted Hill
2655 Glendower Ave.,L.A.
This Frank Lloyd Wright masterpiece (also home to Bladerunner) was built in 1923. Very unusual Architecture have been made only creepier through years of neglect.

5. The Batcave (Bronson cave)
The top of Bronson Avenue
So many features and TV shows have used the caves, you’ve probably seen them a hundred times as a hundred ” different” ocations, including various Star Trek planets, the old west of Bonanza, King Kong’s Skull Island, Mars, Robin Hood’s Sherwood forest and more. Actually a man made tunnel less than 100 ft long. Info on how to get there here
http://www.seeing-stars.com/Locations/BronsonCaves.shtml

6. A Nightmare on Elm Street
1428 Genesee Ave. L.A.
This house—featured in the Nightmare on Elm Street series—sold just a year ago; the asking price was $1.1 million. The new owner kept the façade, and rebuilt the home behind it. One touch she insisted on—returning the front door to its red color featured in the film.

7. Forest Ackerman’s house – The man who created “Famous Monster’s” magazine has the greatest collection of horror and sci-fi memorabilia in the world, including the Robot from Metropolis. He’s on in years, I think in his 90’s, but tours are still held every Saturday, from 11 a.m. to 12 noon. 4511 Russell Avenue. Don’t miss it! There will never be another Ackerman!

8. Kirk’s Rocks (Vasquez Rocks) – ever notice how every planet in the original Star Trek has a jutting triangular peaked canyon? Well, here it is

Feel like you’re on every other planet in the universe at Kirks Rocks
10700 W. Escondido Canyon Rd.
Agua Dulce, CA 91350

9. The Queen Mary– A real tourist destination, but also really haunted. I’ve spent enough time there to experience my own ghostly encounters. Plus the art deco design is great, and the bar at the front sometimes has elvis impersonators and bikini contests. Spooky cool plus swanky cool plus cheesy awesome all in one.
1126 Queen’s Highway, Long Beach

10. Nova Express– Also known as Space Pizza. This is where Barbarella goes for pie. Every inch of this swanky dive is covered with robots or aliens or craters, and all kinds of trippy 60’s sci fi lighting. Also, Cthulu is there, so you can have Pizza with Cthulu. 426 Fairfax.

Everyday is Halloween in Hollywood – Dark Spots in Tinsel Town

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mummies 2, originally uploaded by Boju.

One thing every visitor to Hollywood needs to know is this city doesn’t exist and don’t even think about going to the Hollywood sign. Yes, there is a city called Hollywood in north central Los Angeles, and yes Grauman’s Chinese theater is there, but that’s it. The real Hollywood is scattered throughout the thirty mile radius of Los Angeles.

If your of the gothic or horror sort like I am, or you love Halloween, your going to want to visit Hollywood’s essential horror landmarks. It’s going to take some driving, but let me tell you what’s worth the drive.

1. Dapper Cadaver – okay, sure, I’m a little biased, but we’re the only horror prop shop in Hollywood that welcomes the public. We’ve done blood and gore for most of the crime shows and horror shows of the last six years, and where else are you going to find stacks of body parts, shelves of specimen jars, and mummies hanging on a rack? check out http://www.dappercadaver.com and http://www.bjwinslow.com fo more photos and info. Open m-f 10-6. Open saturdays during septemeber and october for Halloween.

dapper cadaver

2. The CIA – Nothing like the Central Intelligence Agency, the CIA in North Hollywood is part speak-easy, part underground venue, part freakshow museum. CIA actually stands for the California Institute of Abnormal Arts (I guess that last A is silent). See the Mummified Clown and the Feegee Mermaid! 11334 Burbank Blvd. Irregular Hours.

3. Necromance – A store that specializes in the beautiful side of the dead. Funeral memorabilia, jewelery made of dead animals, and vintage scientific charts. 7220 Melrose Ave

4. Hollywood Forever Cemetery – the most famous cemetery in LA with the most famous internees. A beautiful location. Oh, and the screen movies on the side of their mausoleum.
6000 Santa Monica Blvd

5. Wacko – Occult books, bizarre toys, horror action figures, tiki statues and an outsider art gallery all under one roof. Also known as La Luz de Jesus and the Soap Factory.
4633 Hollywood Blvd

6. Sunken City – You know how they say LA is going to fall into the ocean one day? Well part of it did. Located in San Pedo, the jagged ruins of this city block are part on a cliff, part in the sea. It looks like if one of the Tony Hawk skateboarding games had a Flintstones themed level. This is where they scattered Donny’s ashes in The Big Lebowski. Down hill from the Korean Bell at Angels Gate Park, Gaffey and 37th Street, San Pedro 90731

7.La Brea Tar Pits – this famous LA landmark and location is totally worth the price of admission, but the best part is the grounds around it. Statues of giant ice age mammals lurk in the park, and tar bubbles up everywhere, often rising up inside the statues and dripping in sticky black tears from their eyes. Also, the baby elephant tableau in the front main tar pit is the most tragically moving statue I have ever seen. It’s like the mastodon version of La Pieta . 5801 Wilshire Boulevard

8. The Magic Castle – a members only club for Magicians, by Magicians. I was part of the first freakshow ever allowed to perform there. What strange mysteries you will find if you make it inside!
7001 Franklin Ave


9. Mountain View Cemetery in Altadena – This is the most filmed cemetery in Los Angeles. You’re sure to recognize some of television more somber moments amongst the great monuments, including “Susan’s” funeral from Seinfield. TV’s first Superman, George Reeves, who died a tragic and mysterious death, is also buried there.
2400 Fair Oaks Ave

10. Reggie the Alligator – for three years this monster lurked in a Los Angeles lake, menacing locals, eating dogs and outfoxing a slew of potential captors. Eventually Reggie was caught and interned at the LA Zoo, where he escaped the very next day and was loose in Griffith Park for a week. This dangerous beast now has a specially designed maximum security habitat and his own guard. LA Zoo on Zoo Dr in Griffith Park

Greatest Creature Maker of All Time Dies

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Dino Stan, originally uploaded by Boju.

Creature Maker Stan Winston died earlier in the week at the age of 62 due to cancer. Although the animatronics crew at his Winston’s studios offered to keep him alive by transforming him into some kind of unstoppable man-machine, Winston chose to die as he lived, a human.

Winston was born in the 30th century, a bleak futuristic world in which computers control all of our special effects industry. Using a time machine of his own devising, Winston, then in his early 30’s, traveled back in time to the 70’s to show the world that the greatest creatures ever could be created with silicon, latex, and robotics.

In his long career in Hollywood, he and his studio, Stan Winston Studios, built the most iconic monsters and robots of all time including:
The Terminator
The Predator
The Aliens of the Alien Movies (designed by HR Giger)
The Dinosaurs of Jurassic Park
Edward Scissorhands
Iron Man
Tim Burton’s Batman
John Carpenter’s The Thing
The Robots of AI
Monster Squad
Wookies
Pumpkinhead
Tank Girl
Manimal
The Vampires in Inverview With A Vampire
And Many more.

After a ceremony which will be attended by hundreds of friends, family, colleges, aliens, monsters, robots, and the undead, Stan Winston’s skull will be forever enshrined in The Predators trophy room, amongst the universes mightiest creatures.

Stan Winston’s work help fueled my love of movies, and is one biggest reasons I make props today. He will be missed.
RIP Stan 1946-2008

Monster Mondays – The Glashtin

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kelpie.jpg, originally uploaded by Boju.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog’s ongoing Monster Monday project, today I bring you a Father’s Day Monster from The Isle of Man

The Glashtin is a Manx water-horse ( not to be confused with a sea-horse) with a fondness for lonely girls, and has been know to feed off their bodies and blood. He’s a shape shifter who can transform from a sort of Mer-Horse into a perfectly handsome looking human, with horse ears. He can also appear as a half-man half-horse, and a normal horse. In each form he’s incredibly muscular and looking for someone to ride him, a journey which always leads back to the still waters he calls home, where his rider discovers they can’t jump from his back, and they get pulled to their deaths.

Glashtins can be put to good use, as farm hands, if you can control them,. They’re basically a horse with the hands of a man, or a man with the strength of a horse. Just watch your daughter and keep a fire burning. They’re scared of fire and vulnerable to burns (aren’t we all?).

Glashtins will often seek out lonely young girls, like run aways, or farmers daughters living far from cities and other people. They can appear as handsome young men, or even as the girls own father, anything to get in the house. They’re easily tricked by men in drag, who they mistake for ladies. Many a Glashtin has been put down by a gun toting farmer in a skirt. Forget fire, Trannies are a Glashtins real weakness.

There’s a famous tale of a Glashtin in the form of a girl’s long lost father appearing in a rain storm. She unlocked the door and welcomed him in. As he sat by the fireplace to warm himself, he removed his hat and the girl noticed he had horses ears. She grabbed a burning coal from the fire and burned that Glashtin, and he fled.

Folklore always talks about a weakness to fire like it some magic thing. As though if I jabbed a burning coal into the face of a human that’d be cool. They say if you set a wall on fire a Glashtin won’t cross it. I’m pretty sure in that scenario the Glashtin is the smart one, cause now your trapped in side a burning, albeit Glashtin free, house.

Strange Answers: Do You Sell Real Human Skulls?

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unearthed skeleton 2, originally uploaded by Boju.

As part of Dapper Cadaver’s on going quest to answer all the strange questions we receive, today I tackle a biggie. The selling of real human remains.
You might think it odd, but I get asked for human remains a couple times a day, and every couple of months someone asks if I’m interested in buying some human remains that they have, for some reason.

Here’s the short answer: No. No I don’t sell, No I don’t buy and No I can’t help anyone find anyone who does. The laws on who can legally buy and sell human remains are fairly complex, so the rule of thumb to go by is this – buying, selling, or owning human remains is illegal

That’s pretty easy. “Why is it illegal?” I’m often asked. Well, because the sources of human remains are, at some point, living humans. The vast majority of bones “on the market” don’t come from organ donors, they come from China and Indian, where even licensed sources are under frequent allegations of grave robbing and dealing in prisoner remains. The rest of the bones that are being sold are archaeological theft, contemporary grave robbing, war trophies, criminal evidence, and a mixed bag of specimens passed from hand to hand for so long the origins, legitimate or not, are long since lost. The burden of proof is on the owner – if you can prove you bought your bones from a licensed medical supply house great, if not, you’re looking at a range of allegations up to and including accessory to murder. Even the famous Gunther Von Hagens of Body Worlds fame has gotten in trouble with the law for having illegal cadavers

Other anatomy stores have gotten in trouble with the law and heavily finedfor dealing in endangered animal remains and/or human bones. At Dapper Cadaver we only sell animal skulls of common livestock like pig, sheep, and steer, and US game animals, like deer. All other animal bones, both pet and exotic, are replica. Even our exotic taxidermy is synthetic. All our human remains are replica. We divide skulls into 3 categories – Halloween or budget is the lowest quality, medical quality is anatomically correct standard quality. Museum quality is the closest you can get to legally owning a human skull. These are props that have been molded off of real human skull specimens on loan from museums. The anatomical detail and realism is amazing.

I have been a bone collector and a nature lover all my life. I urge anyone who’s interested in buying bones to buy replicas. It’s the only ethical choice. Otherwise you are supporting or encouraging a black market in endangered species, fossil and archaeological treasures, and human life.

The Last Laugh – Funny Epitaphs, Names, and Headstones

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the winner, originally uploaded by Boju.

Every Halloween you seen funny headstones spring up like mushrooms from every front lawn. Most are good for a chuckle but not very realistic, they tend to be small, thin, and cartoonish.

Last year I carved a realistic headstone based on an actual old victorian design with the inscription I’m with stupid and arrows pointing to the headstones next to it. After that I started looking into real funny headstones. I added some great photos and epitaphs to my Halloween headstone section and found a great resource in the flickr group Graves to Make You Laugh

Yesterday I found the most amazing epitaph ever. It reads –
Two things I love most
Good horses and Beautiful
Women. And when I die I hope
They tan this old hide of mine,
and make it into a ladies riding
Saddle. So I can Rest in Peace
Between the two things I love
Most

I can just imagine being this guys son, having to visualize that every time I visit pops grave.

More real funny tombstones

“In the hundred and seventh year of her life…she had fresh teeth” 

“I’m a busy man, I don’t have time for this”

“Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, stepped on the gas instead of the brake” 

“Lovingly known as Dr. Dick” 

“This ain’t so bad, once you get used to it” 

“She always said her feet were killing her but no one believed her.” 

“I made a lot of deals in life, but I went in the hole on this one.” 

“I knew this would happen.” 

“I B Horne” 

“King Dick” 

“Noble Butt” 

“Oops he Died” 

“Rusty Nail – He lived life to the max.” 

“Fanny Hair” 

“Fanny Reider” 

“Life’s not just one thing after another, it’s the same damn thing over and over again.” 

Monster Monday: Dossenus

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Happy Monster Monday everybody! It’s been a couple weeks since our last post. I just moved into a beautiful new house in Echo Park and spent last week doing blood pools on the set of Dexter, so I haven’t been at the desk for a spell.
This week the Dapper Cadaver blog brings you a creature from ancient Greece – Dossenus, the ever-chomping!
Dossenus is a monster who eats everything, like a Pac Man. He wears a theatrical Manducus mask, a classical greek drama mask which depicts a man chewing or grimacing. Or sometimes the Manducus is his sidekick and is a monster in it’s own right.
Beneath his mask Dossenus was part man, part animal, part manimal, and all monster. He could devour anything and the greeks and romans both feared he would devour the “Cosmic Theater,”- the universe. Kind of like a locust from hell.
The Dossenus is also the name of an order of jumping spiders that like to vibrate and bang their butts to make music and attract a mate. They also want to eat the cosmic theater.

Strange Answers: How do I clean a skeleton?

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Skeletons are so white and beautiful, but usually they come with all this carcass stuck to them. What’s a person to do? That’s why Dapper Cadaver’s Strange Answers is here.

Well, you could bury the bones and let nature do it’s thing. This works quite well actually, but it takes time. And you run the risk of detritovores and scavengers making off with the remains.

A commonly held notion is that you can boil bones clean. Let me warn you, boiling rotting carcasses is a great way to make rotting carcass soup and a terrible way to clean a skeleton. You know how chicken soup on the stove fills a house with it’s deliscious smell? Imagine that’s a dead raccoon in there. That’ll cure the common cold.

Beetles are the best way to clean a corpse. The beetle in particular is called the Dermestid officially, but goes by many other names like the hide beetle, the carpet beetle, the larder beetle, and the flesh-eating beetle, because of what they eat – everything except glass, steel, and bone. Throw a buffalo sized head in to a container with a thousand or more dermestids, and they’ll leave nothing but the bones in a matter of weeks. Not overnight, but still the fastest game around. Dermestids are handy because they can crawl into eye sockets and nasal passages and get all the meat, and brains, from those hard to reach nooks and crannies.

Dermestids eat cartilage too, which is why you never see a real museum skeleton with the nose bones, ear bones, or it’s chest plate in tact. All of those parts are cartilege. Usually the sternum and center ribs are replaced with synthetics for display purpose. It’s also why you’ve never seen a shark skeleton, despite seeing shark jaws at every corner cabana.

If you want to start cleaning bones you’re going to need thousands of these little buggers. Many taxidermy shops sell guides to raising and using them, and many sell the bugs themselves. Just don’t let them get away. Eating everything is what dermestids do best. Just like the flesh eating beetles in The Mummy movie.