Monster Mothers Day: Top 10 Mother-Monsters (and were they MILFs?)

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As part of Dapper Cadaver’s ongoing Monster Monday series, today I bring you a very special tribute to all the mother monsters out there. It is a testament to our love of mothers and our sympathy for them that in the mythological tradition of 6 billion people spanning 10 thousand years I could barely find 10 beings that could rightly be called monster mothers. Those that do fit the bill though are terrifying and powerful indeed, like a rampaging mother grizzly horribly mutated and kind of hot.
10. Mother-Of-Fishes – As her name states, a giant fish that protects all the fish and creatures of the sea and inland waterways. Said to be a trout so large her back is an island with trees growing on it. MILF factor – 0

9. Gargamelle – Gargamelle is not just the evil alchemist who wants to eat smurfs or something in the smurfs, Gargamelle is also a giantess in French mythology and the mother of Gargantua. MILF factor not much judging from this picture

8. Mother Flog – Mother Flog is a stout little matron elf who hides in saucepans to catch greedy children in the act of ruining their appetites. She then flogs them mercilessly. MILF factor – despite a sexy name, Mother Flog just doesn’t follow through.

7. Coinchenn – A dog headed woman and the fatal protector of her child, the beautiful Delbehaem. A prophet told Coinchenn she would die once her daughter was engaged, so Dog-Head took to decapitating every young man who came within 50 feet of her daughter. The heads were displayed on brass spikes in Coinchenn’s garden. MILF factor – Delbehaem must have gotten her hot body from this half-milf, but Coinchenn was cursed with a head only a furry could love.

6. Bapets – Bapets are a monster already covered in the Monster Monday blog at Dapper Cadaver. These creatures were big breasted cannibals that loured toddlers away from their village and suckled them on poison milk. MILF Factor – What part of big breasted cannibal isn’t a turn on?

5. Medusa – Everyone should know about Medusa, the queen gorgon with hair of snakes whose gaze could turn a man to stone. But did you know she’s also a mother? Yep, she gave birth to Pegasus, the winged horse. Somehow. At the time she was shacking up with Poseidon, the sea god, so he’s credited as the father, but I’d seriously file a paternity suit if I was him. MILF factor – Medusa had a hot torso, and possibly a hot lower section (although sometimes that’s snakes too). But the whole line about “putting a bag on her head” probably started here, because not only was Medusa face ugly and covered in snakes, she could literally kill a man just by looking at him.

4. Queen Alien – The mother of all the badness in the universe is this giant, egg laying, face hugging, 4 armed, 2 mouthed freak. Still she was a loving mother and a lady through and through. As this photo proves she knew how to find the right high heels to go with her outfit. MILF factor – in space no one can hear her scream!

3. Grendel’s Mom – It’s a pity no one got her name, because in many ways she was the greater monster than her son, Grendel. She was also a loving mother, and like any good mother, when her son was killed she swore revenge and took to devouring and disemboweling those responsible. MILF factor – Grendel’s mom is the only monster on this list to ever be portrayed on film by Angelina Jolie, nuff said.

2. Lilith – Adam’s ex-wife has quite a varied past, and according to legend is probably responsible for far more miscarriages than births. Still, as a Queen among the Succubus she actually made an honest man out of Lucifer for a time, and bore him the magic androgynous goat demon Baphomet. Like all of her marriages though it didn’t last. She’s also been wife to many a demon, dragon, snake, and owl, and to most of them she’s born strange children. Thanksgiving dinner at the Lilith house should be a sight to behold. MILF factor -Totally desrving of her title of the ultimate seductress and source of nocturnal emissions.
1. Echidna – Seriously, who else but Echidna could hold the top spot amongst monster moms? Okay, so you might not have heard of her, but she is the undying nymph, the she viper, and the mother of all monsters. That means everyone from Dracula to Godzilla has to send her a Mothers Day card and a bouquet of flowers. Among the monsters she birthed were Cerberus, the Sphynx, the Chimera, the Hydra, and many more, including, according to the Greeks, all monsters everywhere. MILF Factor – She had the torso and head of a beautiful woman, the body of a snake, and unspeakable power. Pretty attractive so far, but with a title like the Mother Of All Monsters she must get pregnant at the drop of a hat, so in terms of wearing protection I’d recommend a suit of armor.

Strange Answers: "How do you make the most realistic cobwebs?"

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There are essentially two schools to making great cobwebs. Cobwebbing guns and stretch webbing. There’s a third technique I’ve devised I call Pro 90 Webbing, which I kept secret for years. Now that I’m working in the shop more than on set, I’m not doing cobwebs so much, and I’ll share my secrets in this article.

I find a lot of people when the want to go pro with awesome spider webs get the cob webbing gun without really knowing a lot about them. Cob webbing guns are great, but they’re no magic wand. I rarely use them because I find them to be a hassle to use, except for under certain circumstances. First, a cob webbing gun is basically a hot glue gun attached to an air compressor, so be aware that anything you spray down with these guns you’re spraying with hot glue, and there’s a good chance you will not be able to clean it off. The air compressor itself is noisy, expensive, heavy, and needs time to build up pressure. The final issue I have with cob webbing guns is the cheap ones and the homemade ones have a tendency to clog alot, and with most hot glue guns, it’s almost inevitable you will burn yourself if you do it enough. For these reasons I find the cobwebbing guns are best used on pro jobs like sets and haunted houses, things where you’ve got a lot of ground to cover, you never plan on cleaning it up, you’ve got some assistance, and you’ve got the cash to invest in a top quality gun and an air compressor. For doing home haunts, cobwebbing props, or cobwebbing areas you have to clean later, they don’t make the most since.

Stretch cotton webbing has a bad rap, but it’s actually pretty good if you’re patient with it. It’s also pretty much the only kind of cobwebbing that cleans up okay and doesn’t stain or stick to things.

HOW TO DO PRO 90 WEBBING
For really excellent, realistic webs, try the Pro 90 technique.
1. Start with ordinary stretch webbing, pull it tight and thin, but don’t worry about over working it at first.
2.Once the stretch webbing looks okay (not great), spray it with 3M 90 spray. This aerosol adhesive forms tiny strands that create cross webs. The glue also reinforces the cotton, so the strands are more visible. WARNING- this is glue, so it is difficult to clean up. Also keep away from open flames.
3. Now that the spider web is sprayed with glue you can sculpt the web even more. While it’s tacky, you can stretch out clumps of web, stick it to other parts of your set or prop, create holes in the web and more.
4. If you need the web to be more visible, try misting it with spray paint or dry brushing it once the glue has dried.
5. Use scissors to trim any excess.


The photos in this post show the same candelabra decorated with both stretch webbing and stretch webbing that’s been given the Pro 90 treatment. 3M 90 is available at most hardware stores and currently costs $9 – $15 per can.

Monster Mondays – The Butatsch Ah ILgs

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As part of Dapper Cadaver’s ongoing Monster Monday’s project today I bring you the most horrible thing Switzerland has ever produced, the Butatsch Ah ILgs.

The Butatsch is a great and terrifying amorphous blob, like a swollen stomach, but covered with leering eyes that can shoot fire. The Butatsch lived at the bottoms of lakes, at the gateways between earth and hellish neitherworlds. The fire from its eyes was the very same as the hellfire of eternal damnation.

For I think obvious reasons, no fishermen would fish in the waters where the Butatsch was said to dwell, but the beast was so feared that no shepherd would allow there sheep to graze on any hillside facing his infernal lake.

Since no Butatsch has ever been photographed, the part of the Butatsch is being played by a Stichopus Sea Cucumber.

Strange Answers: "What are the bones of a fetal skeleton?"

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This one was harder than I thought. A fetal skeleton should have all the same bones as an adult skeleton, right?

Well no, actually, and it depends. It depends on when you check. A human fetus has no bones at all until the 7th week. Two bones come in during the 7th week. The femur, which is not surprising as it’s the largest, hardest single bone in the adult body. The second bone is the clavicle, also known as the collar bone, an oddly shaped little bone that holds up the neck. It’s small, but think of how important it’s job is.

The rest of the bones develop from the 8th to 15th week (2nd to 4th month). So by the 5th month a fetal skeleton is complete. Well almost complete. As we all know the teeth come in after birth, as does the knee cap (patella) which grows in between the 3rd and 6th year. That’s why baby legs have such a smooth taper from thigh to ankle – no knobby knee in the middle.

The last bone that the fetus grows is the hyoid bone, also known as the lingual bone or voice box. It’s the only bone in the human body not rooted against another bone, and it’s the one that makes articulate speech possible. In animals the hyoid bone is simply another part of the neck, not the floating wonder it is in humans. In fetal development the hyoid bone doesn’t grow until the 36th week, the 9th month. Then a baby is ready to be born.

A complete chart of fetal bones and their developments is available here

Strange Answers: What's Wrong With Henry

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Of all the causes of death I’ve recreated over the years none raises more questions than the case of poor Harry (Henry) Eastlack.

I created the Henry skeleton for a set based on the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, where the real Harry Eastlack resides. Harry was born normal except for a big toe only slightly too large and irregular.

At age ten the muscle and flesh around his bones began turning to bone, a process called “Ossification” and sometimes poetically referred to as flesh turning to stone. Ossification is a normal process for growing and healing bones, but in Harry’s case it was running amok. The disease Harry had was named Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva. The first symptom was bony nodules on his neck and shoulders, which when removed, triggered the growth of large nodules. Shortly after the onset of Ossification, Harry was unable to move any part of his body except his lips.

Harry died 43 years later of pneumonia and willed his unique body to the Mutter Museum. Here’s the real Harry’s skeleton

Strange Answers: "How do you make fake human sashimi?"

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The question of the day here at Dapper Cadaver was “How do you make fake human sashimi?”

It’s a familiar horror movie set up, knife wielding maniac slices some choice parts off their victim, nothing unusual there, but the part two of this gruesome torture involves slicing the bits and pieces thin. There will be close ups. And the budget is practically non existent.

If budget allows, pieces can be custom fabricated so there’s meat and bone looking material built right in, but budget didn’t allow this time so we need to go with off the shelf pieces.

One of the pieces getting cut off is the thumb. Now the detail on our thumbs is great, you can see the pores and even take a fingerprint. Add a nail, and you got a close up ready piece. Skin tone is going to be repainted to match their actor. The problem though is the thumb is hollow vinyl. How do you cut it thin without spoiling the illusion.

We came up with 2 possible solutions.

The first involves stuffing the thumb with meat and bone so you can cut into it and see the gore inside. It’s good because you can maintain a steady shot, but you’ll have to hold it carefully so the skin doesn’t slip and spoil the illusion.

The more classic effect is the old switcheroo. Knife maniac goes for actor and the first switch is pulling off the fake thumb for the real thumb. The maniac slams the thumb down on a table – close up on bloody thumb – then cut to close up of the knife coming down. Switch the fake thumb for a similar piece of meat, say a raw chicken wing, the fat part with the single bone inside and a thumbnail glued on, but don’t do a close up. The maniac starts cutting, you can go as thin as you want and it will look real because it is real. Leave the damaged nail for even more impact.

Here’s a tip, if your character is female, give her a noticeable nail polish, then match the nail polish on the fake finger. It keeps it clear whose parts your dealing with. Worked in The Big Lebowski.

Strange Questions: Do you have a Possum Penis?

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Raccoon baculum

Everyday the phone rings and I hear: “This is going to sound like a strange question, but…”

I answer the question, which may range from advice on making bloody explosions to medieval torture equipment to making the best fake spider webs to what happens to what part of the body after death or why you shouldn’t sell black market human remains, you know, morbid industry tech support.

I recently decided I should start publishing these question and answer sessions. And feel free to email me with more questions, my email is info@dappercadaver.com .

So todays question: “Do you have a possum’s penis replica?”

Why would anyone want one, you might ask, well there’s an old American tradition that raccoon and opossum penis bones – called Baculum, should be worn around the neck for good luck. The tradition can still be found in some parts of the south, amongst carnies, and certain trucker traditions. It was referenced in the book “The Heart is Deceitful above all things”

A replica Baculum was wanted because this was for a production and the actors were a bit squeamish over handling something like that. Well, it turns out the anchovy shaped Opossum baculum replica eluded me, but I found a good scientific supply house the carries an amazing array of baculum, from ferrets to foxes to bears and seals, and yes, even the lucky raccoon. Dapper Cadaver can now special order bacula of nearly any North Amercan mammal for $10-$40 each.

The longest baculum in North America belongs to te Walrus, measuring an average of 2 ft, with the record being at nearly 5 ft. Think about that for a second, and shudder. Walrus baculum, called Oosiks by the inuit, are of great ceremonial importance.

All the great apes except humans have a baculum. The zoologist Richard Dawkins speculated in 2006, that the loss of the bone in humans, is probably a result of sexual selection by females looking for signs of good health in prospective mates. The reliance of the human penis solely on hydraulic means to achieve a rigid state makes it particularly vulnerable to blood pressure variation. Poor erectile function betrays not only physical states such as diabetes and neurological disorders but mental states such as stress and depression.

Monster Mondays: Long Wang

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Monster Mondays: long wang

As part of the Dapper Cadaver blogs Monster Mondays, I bring you a king amongst Chinese Dragons – Long Wang!

Long Wang is a serene type of dragon and the specific dragon of the “Year of The Dragon” part of the Chinese zodiac. They presides over watery weather and scaly creatures like lizards and fish.

Being in charge of water and rain, Long Wangs often dribble themselves with dewdrops or come in floods.

The noble Long Wang does not understand why Westerners constantly snicker around it and laugh behind Long Wang’s back.
Treat the mighty Long Wang with awe and respect.

Bones and Warcraft Props up for Auction

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The Chiller Theater in New Jersey is doing a charity auction May 2nd – 4th, 2008, and I’ll be contributing 2 pieces from my collection a warcraft mask and a skeleton. The skeleton was used in ad campaign of Fox’s Bones. Fox’s Bones and World of Warcraft are in no way affiliated with this auction. These items are my personal property that has been used by their productions. Other items up for auction can be seen here. Stills from the ad showing the skeleton and the actors together can be seen in the below links

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I’ll also be contributing a World of Warcraft Ork Mask and the mold for making more latex Ork masks. See the finished Ork mask here .

The charity is a benefit for horror host and novelty horror music legend John Zacherley, the cool ghoul. The fund raiser is a surprise, so if you know Zach, don’t tell him!
the cool ghoul

Zach is the last of the great original horror hosts, 90 years old and still as sharp as a stake through the heart. He fell ill around Christmas and while he’s out of the hospital now, this auction is to raise the cash for his hospital bills. Along with other hosts like Vampira who passed earlier in the year, Zach helped create the campy mix of ghastly puns and ghoulish gore that is often imitated, never equaled to this day. While the honors for Vampira came mostly post-humous, this is a chance to honor a legend of the undead while he’s still alive.

As well as a character actor and horror host, Zacherley produced an unrivaled assortment of novelty horror records in the 50’s and 60’s. Often backed by the rockabilly surf style of the Dick Clark Five, or spooky organs, Zacherley’s horror limerick songs are one of the founding forces of todays Psychobilly genre Give a Listen to some selections here, and then go ahead and buy the album here. We’re trying to get the dude paid after all.

Zacherley’s music and television persona has been a huge influence on all of us here at Dapper Cadaver where his music can regularly be heard in our in store mix. We’re thrilled and honored to be able to help him out however we can. We hope whether you love Zacherley, Bones, Warcraft, or other horror swag you’ll be able to make a bid and help this delightful old ghoul out.

Muerte Las Vegas!

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We just got back from the Halloween Costume, Haunted Attraction, and Party show in Las Vegas. Eileen and I had a great time and even made the paper.

From the Las Vegas Review Journal

The four-day convention includes more than 700 exhibitors and is expected to attract about 10,000 attendees from 47 countries.

In 24 years it has grown from a small event in Chicago with about 20 vendors to today’s incarnation, a multiday costume, prop and gore extravaganza for an industry worth about $7 billion.

“Something like 20 percent of people in the U.S. will attend a haunted house,” said Joe Thaler, chairman and CEO of TransWorld Exhibits, the company that runs the Halloween show. “It can be very valuable.”

Mutilated bodies, full-length Sasquatch and Yeti suits, trampy nurse and superhero outfits are among the highlights of the Las Vegas event. There’s plenty at the show to shock even the most hardened sensibilities.

The firm Dapper Cadaver of Los Angeles showed off a line of vintage medical instruments, mutilated and vandalized corpses and a collection of faux human and animal fetuses stored in jars.

Dapper Cadaver owner-artist BJ Winslow said he’s been fascinated by macabre preservation techniques since childhood.

“Even when I was a little kid and I had a toy I was no longer interested in I would stick it in a jar, fill it with fluid and put it on a shelf,” Winslow said. “My mom still has some of them.”