The Macabre and the Unusual

Author Archive

Art of Bleeding Wednesday

Wednesday, July 15, 2009
MAGIC AMBULANCE THEATER At Peepshow Menagerie’s “Merry Maladies”

FLYER:
http://artofbleeding.com/maladies-webflyer.jpg

The Art of Bleeding performs “Staying Calm in Emergency Situations” at “Merry Maladies,” a special evening of medical burlesque hosted by Peepshow Menagerie. In this episode of Magic Ambulance Theater, RT THE ROBOT TEACHER and ABRAM THE SAFETY APE test opposing theories of mind control, subjecting THE ART OF BLEEDING NURSES to shameful experiments along the way. Also stopping in to shake their thermometers and drop their hospital gowns will be Peepshow Menagerie regulars and special guests including: DIZZY VON DAMN (Miss Viva Las Vegas 2008), RED SNAPPER, POLLY PEABODY,SCARLETT LETTER (Most Classic at the 2007 Boston Burlesque Expo), FEVER BLISTER, MISS ANGIE CAKES, IONA VIBRATOR, RED SONJA (from New York).

Bordello, 901 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012, California
Doors 9pm, $10.

More on the Burlesque Beauties of “Merry Maladies”:
http://www.peepshowmenagerie.com/0709show.htm

** AoB in the NEWS
LA Weekly reviews “Fever”
http://www.laweekly.com/2009-06-18/music/proud-out-and-about/
Canadian Men’s Magazine Q&A on The Art of Bleeding
http://toromagazine.com/?q=node%2F1940
Lots of nice pix.  Learn the cultspeak of the Art of Bleeding compound!

** AoB FUTURE EVENTS
Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009
Details, TBA.
California Institute of Abnormal Arts (CIA), 11334 Burbank Blvd.,North Hollywood, California

** GORY DETAILS VIDEO SERIES

Stay tuned as later this summer, something like a children’s show shambles from The Art of Bleeding’s backyard studios.  Abram, RT, Dr. Moody, and the lovely, lovely Art of Bleeding nurses have been working all fall and winter!    Subscribe to our youtube channel today to be sure you catch all the episodes. youtube.com/artofbleeding

** ART OF BLEEDING ONLINE

YOUTUBE
youtube.com/artofbleeding

FACEBOOK
http://www.facebook.com/art.ofbleeding

MYSPACE
myspace.com/artbleeding (new primary account)
myspace.com/artofbleeding (with music downloads)

FLICKR GROUP
http://www.flickr.com/groups/1065773@N21/

ITUNES
“Music from the Magic Ambulance” available on iTunes!


Monster Mongers and Retailers of Other Strange Satellites 2 Art Show

Monster Mongers and Retailers of Other Strange Satellites 2

July 9-July 23, 2009

Opening Reception: Thursday July 9, 6-9 PM

compactspace is pleased to present “Monster Mongers and Retailers of Other Strange Satellites 2,” a group show which will showcase works by University of California, Irvine, 2009 MFA graduates in Studio Art—Arielle Bivas, Marcus Civin, Laurel Frank, kate hers, Dong Hoon Jun, Jared Nielsen Jen Smith, Sean Sullivan, Grant Vetter, Maya Weimer, and Morgan Wells. “Monster Mongers and Retailers of Other Strange Satellites 2”, a sequel to the very recent exhibition at LAXART, is a chance to see fresh and exciting artwork in an intimate setting in Downtown Los Angeles. The artists in this exhibition work in the disciplines of photography, video, performance, installation, sculpture, drawing, and painting, and engage with subjects that range from identity, language, and architecture, to the body, institution, and globalization.

Students from unique backgrounds and experiences seek out UCI’s rigorous three-year MFA program, which emphasizes experimental and interdisciplinary approaches to art making within an intellectual and theoretical framework.

Please visit www.mfa2009.org to preview work by the artists exhibiting in ““Monster Mongers and Retailers of Other Strange Satellites2” at compactspace.

Arielle Bivas’ video installations point to the imperfect translation of visceral sensations, recounting embodied memories and exploring intimacy and trauma.

Marcus Civin’s black-and-white photographs, reminiscent of silent film intertitles, express and echo the sympathies of soldiers, the language of officers, and the taunts of thirsty herders and tightfisted farmers. Civin sometimes uses these photographs as props in his new performance, “Bounty”. At compactspace, viewers can spend time with the photographs as an installation of texts.

The sculpture and installation pieces of Laurel Frank rework the use of artifice as it pertains to issues of infectious taste and synthetic pleasures in an economy of excess. Frank’s engagement with rocks as tropes of class position double as a short hand for achieving the American dream, i.e., harnessing the wild frontier, domesticating nature, moving mountains!

kate hers combines Hegel’s notion of Other as it relates to self-perception with Edward Said’s post-colonial Other.  While living in Berlin, hers compels herself to stop speaking any other language besides German, a language she cannot speak fluently. She performs a daily diary in front of her video camera. (This diary was later uploaded to her website.) Das deutschsprachliche Projekt examines aspects of identity, confidence, self-worth, and personality that are bound up in language.

Dong Hoon Jun’s photographs and videos balance humor and melancholy, consider how to be human within institutional architectural gestures, and find brief moments when certain gestures—whether physical or intellectual—can suggest a hidden world of fancy or fantasy.

Jared Nielsen is constructing a postsustainable future from the shit pile of the present.

Jen Smith uses handicraft and domestic materials to re-imagine the pomp and ceremony of wartime banners ? shuffling the letters of “Mission Accomplished” into new texts such as “Cold Icon Piss Shammie” and “Oh Dismal Cosmic Penis.” In video and photographic work, such as “The Wound and the Voice,” Jen explores the erotics of heroic mythologies, as exemplified in photographs from Abu Ghraib.

Through highly detailed and pristinely rendered drawings, Sean Sullivan, directs the gaze to contemporary nature morte. His work describes the impasse between population explosion and limited resources.

The abstract paintings of Grant Vetter consider American abstraction intertwined with a culture of violence. Vetter uses paint to imitate the look and texture of torn flesh, to allude to the tragic conditions of the current “war on terror,” and to the history of oppression related to the American military industrial complex.

Maya Weimer’s videos create new representations of diasporic and postcolonial identities. “New Seoul Cartographies,” a poetic meditation on South Korea’s national re-addressing initiative, maps memory, history, place and displacement.

Morgan Wells is a multidisciplinary artist who uses a never-ending list of materials that create a unique combination of different artistic ideologies. With a distinct sense of humor, his artworks are built around monumental installations that act as both a constructed space, and as a singular object.

compactspace is located at 105 E 6th Street next to Pussy and Pooch

Los Angeles, CA 90014

T. (626) 676-0627 (contact: Glenna Jennings)

www.compactspace.com

compactspace is open Wednesday through Saturday 11am – 6pm.

compactspace Los Angeles and its sister space in Geneva, Switzerland are part of the compactspace collective started 2003 in Berlin. compactspace Los Angeles opened 2004 in LA’s Pico-Union district and has recently re-located to historic downtown LA, where they promote a multi-media arts program that mainly features emerging and mid-career artists. compactspace LA is made possible by the contributions of the University of California, San Diego Visual Arts Department.


Monster Monday: Happy Fathers Day! 12 Best Horror Dads

Today a very special Monster Mondays looks at the famous fathers of monsterdom. As a soon to be dad, I’m interested in what each of these earthbound abominations can teach me about what makes a good parent, and what makes an unholy creature of the night.

Monsters are ranked in order of parenting skills.

12. Dr. Victor Frankenstein.
While I normally live my life by the motto WWVFD? when it comes to parenting the good doctor is about as bad as it gets. After creating a man out of corpses, he neglects to name it, insults its looks, abandons it, and then hunts it down to kill it. It’s clear in the book and many of the movies that the monster sees Victor as his father, and since the Doctor never gave him a proper name, the family name of Frankenstein is absolutely correct as the only name of the creature. Frankenstein deniers say the only Frankenstein was Victor, a statement the Dr would find a relieving since it takes up his position of denying the creature its family and humanity. “Frankienstein’s Monster” my ass. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Dr. Frankenstein is no more capable of parenting when it’s his own flesh and blood and not a reanimated corpse. Son of Frankenstein, Barron Wold Frankenstein, is alienated and spiteful of his father, who was always more a mad scientist then a family man.

11. The Mask.
I know nobody saw the Son of the Mask, but we all know it doesn’t have Jim Carry in it. So there’s that. Then there’s Ace Ventura Jr, which also doesn’t have Jim Carry in it. So together I can only assume that all of Jim Carry’s characters knock up anonymous women in the first movie then vanish before the monster in shortpants is born. Upcoming movies also featuring the bastard children of Carry: Sons of the Cable Guy, Dumbest Baby, Riddler on Ritalin, and Eternal Sushine on a Spotless Diaper.

10. Jack Torrance (From the Shining)
It’s an easy mistake to make. Take the kid on a work trip. It’ll be great, the boy can watch daddy do what he does, which in this case is more drinking then writing, and it’ll be a good chance to bond, which in this case means chasing him with an ax before freezing to death in a hedge maze. Another lesson learned, always do background checks on children’s entertainers. The last thing anyone wants to see is the guy in the bear suit going down on some old banker.

9. Humanoids from the Deep
Mutated fish men always want human women, whether it’s the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Abe Sapiens from Hellboy or Link from Monsters vs Aliens. But while Abe had class, Link was kids stuff, and the bathing beauties in Creature were all carp-teases, only Humanoids actually shows what fishmen want our women for. In a word, breeding. Lots of gratuitous breeding.  The result of the Humanoids cross breeding was a hideous monster, but I think they’re just using fish on female rape to try and create mermaids. Also the Creature Jr. recorded a calypso track back in the 50′s that’s worth checking out.

8. Face Hugger

Typical, in the world of aliens and people, the queen gets all the credit for parenting and seldom do we stop to appreciate the faceless father.  In both his anatomy and behavior the face hugger seams like nothing more then a teenage boy, a brainless male, nothing but hands and penis, choosing people at random and sticking  his ovipositor in their throat, then running away, never to be seen again.  Now, aliens being a good family movie, they never actually show the ovipositor, but the creature designs make it clear this is man-junk being crammed down your throat. Early concept sketches were even more explict. Implicitly NSFW

7.Dr Moreau

Parents often make the mistake of thinking their child is just a minature version of themselves, and Dr Moreau proves just how creepy that can be. Dr. Moreau’s other children are mutant human hybrids that he tries to control and/or transcend their true nature with drugs and electrical punishment. His lack of recognition of his children’s own identities, and the fact that hes a drugged up looney and they’re tortured manimal monsters, leads to him being killed by a valuable lesson.

6. Gizmo

Gizmo is the reactionary father. His love is great, but it is not unconditional. If you piss him off, or turn out different from how he wanted, he will hunt you down and fucking kill you. Granted, mogwis are cute and gremlins are hideous monsters, but they’re still his kids. Gizmo seems out of his league when it comes to parenting, like he’d rather be friends with his kids then their dad. He skips over fatherly advice, tough love, and spankings and instead goes from friend to doormat to child murderer. But how can I stay mad at that cuddly face?

5. Dracula

Dracula does everything with class and excess, and fatherhood is no different. He is the big love vampire, with 3 wives, a crush he follows across the continent and a floozy he messes around with on the way. All that lovin is boundto produce a legacy, or in his case a lega-she. Dracula’s first and finest child is his daughter, Countess Marya. She inherits her dads class and charm, as well as flair for fashion, good looks, and imense power. Her younger brother is a much dimmer bulb of the bunch, going by the name Count Alucard and figuring no one will notice its Dracula spelled backwards. Dracula seems to be the only fertile vampire in the world, able to produce offspring through sex instead of just creating more vampires through feeding. In Van Helsing Drac’s almighty seed produce not a sexy daughter and an idiot son, but a hord of bat winged vampirlings who even from infancy he comands as his unholy army of conquest. That’s parenting.

4. Father McGruder (from Dead Alive)

Father McGruder starts the film as quite possibly the greatest holy man the cinema has ever filmed. When zombies start rising from the cemetery at this priests parish, he leaps into the undead thick of things with a mighty battle cry of “I kick ass for the Lord” and starts laying out zombies with Kung Fu. Inevitably he’s overpowered and becomes a zombie himself, but now freed from his vow of chastity he seduces a zombie nurse and they soon have a zombie baby. This makes him a rare, double father, or priest with a bastard, and as a bonus, zombie priest with zombie bastard. Father shows genuine affection for both his baby mama and the undead brat, and even though he can’t leave the basement where his shackled, gets a human to nanny his child and take him to the park where he can chase dogs and eat them.

3.Godzilla

Godzilla seems to be an awesome father, attentive, protective, fun on trips to the city, but I’m not quite sure if he should be on the list. I mean, sure, He’s always called the King of Monsters, but he’s a King who lays eggs and likes to snuggle. Is Godzilla actually a She-la monster?

2. Grandpa Munster

Like Dracula, to whom Grandpa is somehow related, the senior Munster is also an excellent father figure. Like Drac, he’s also blessed with a hot daughter, but he one ups his more famous fiend by raising 2 generations of monsters, and adopting the abandonned Frankenstein Monster, who now goes by the name Herman. We all know what a horrible upbringing Frankenstein had, so it’s no surprise that he takes his wifes maiden name upon marriage and is known from then on as Herman Munster.

1. Gomez Addams

Lots of dads get “Worlds Greatest Dad” t-Shirts, but only Gomez Addams actually deserves it. Sorry every other dad. Unless you can check off every single one of the following father qualities, you’ll always be in Gomez’s shadow : Fatherly advice, striped suit, let chldren play in his electric chair, paternal muostache, buried family members in the back yard, stogie, bug eyes, millions of dollars, and he didn’t just let his kids get away with murder, he encouraged it.

Comments? Questions? Monster dads left out? Post comments here


Monster Mondays – Celtic Halloween Spirits

Earlier I wrote on Celtic origins of Halloween and the important changes that took place with the Holiday in America. Today for Monster Mondays I’m going to look at the early Monsters of Celtic Halloween. The traditional holiday bears little resemblance to the Halloween we know now. It was not a celebration of death, horror, and thrills, but a harvest festival and new years eve celebration. The most important practices involved fortune telling, making predictions for the coming year, and it was believed that on this day ordinary rules did not apply, and souls, spirits, and fairies could be present on earth.  Most descriptions of what souls,spirits, and fairies visit earth are rather vague, but a few specific supernatural creatures are named. As is usually the case, the first at the party are the first to go, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of the Celtic Halloween monsters doing the Monster Mash or out trick-or-treating.

Cailleach Bheur -Also known as Cally Berry (no relation to Hallie Berry), Old Woman Winter, The Blue Hag, The Storm Hag, and The Veiled One. In all respects, the Cailleach is a god and not a monster. She is the embodiment of winter reborn every Samhain/Halloween and turned to stone, or to a tree, or to a young woman every Beltane. Her staff can freeze anything with a touch and she is the gaurdian of the animals. Some say she carvedthe Mountains of Scotland with a hammer and pick. She once fell asleep while pumping a well, flooding the valley and killing hundreds. That valley is now Loch Awe.

Aillen Trechenn, The Three Headed Monster.  Also known as the Ellén Trechend. It emerges from it’s cave every Halloween to wreck havoc. It laid Ireland to waste with it’s fire breath and was killed not once but twice, by the heroes Amergin and Fion Mac Comhaill. Despite it’s appearance being an annual event and multiple heroes claiming to kill it. There’s a lot of disagreement on what it was. Somesay a three headed dragon, others a beast, others a bird, and some say it was not one but a whole swarm of three headed things.

Hwch Ddu Gota -The black swine or specteral pig. Some say this pig was the embodiment of the Devil. Long past midnight when the raging Bonfires of Halloween died down to embers, the black swine would be born from those embers to catch and murder any drunkards still lagging about at the festival. The ultimate blow off.

Stingy Jack – For the scoop on Stingy Jack, see my previous post on the origin of Trick or Treating

Cutty Sark is the nickname given to the sexy witch in Robert Burns’ classic1790  narrative poem Tam O’Shanter. The poem is not about Halloween per se, but at the same time sets a template for the American version of Halloween to come. Burns does have a poem called Halloween but it is much more in the Celtic Tradition of Bonfires, New Years, and Story telling, and little about the ghastly celebration we know as Halloween.

Tam O’Shanter however tells of a Scotsman out drinking (shocking right?) well past the witching hour. When he finally leaves the pub the streets are alive with horrors and the undead. He sneaks to the center of the horrors where he finds the devil himself dancing with a coven of witches. In their macabre merriment they cast off their clothes, but because they are all old hags,Tam nearly loses his lunch. In their midst though is one beautiful young witch wearing a “Cutty Sark” which I’ve found translated as short skirt, low cut top, or underwear. What ever she was wearing, it was given to her as a child and was now barely containing her bursting woman hood.  Tam got so excited he hollared out, as drunks are prone to do at sexy women,  and set the devil and all his witches chasing him.

Dancing, drinking, horrors and sexy costumes. Sounds like the Halloween I know.

Cutty looks good for being 219 years old.

From Tam O’Shanter

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn!
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi’ tippenny,
[ale] we fear nae evil;
Wi’ usquabae, [whiskey]
we’ll face the devil!
The swats sae ream’d in Tammie’s noddle,
Fair play, he car’d na deils a boddle,
But Maggie stood, right sair astonish’d,
Till, by the heel and hand admonish’d,
She ventur’d forward on the light;
And, wow! Tam saw an unco sight!

Warlocks and witches in a dance:
Nae cotillon, brent new frae France,
But hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys, and reels,
Put life and mettle in their heels.
A winnock bunker in the east,
There sat auld Nick, in shape o’ beast;
[the devil]
A towzie tyke, black, grim, and large,
To gie them music was his charge:
He screw’d the pipes and gart them skirl,
Till roof and rafters a’ did dirl. -
Coffins stood round, like open presses,
That shaw’d the Dead in their last dresses;
And (by some devilish  cantraip leight)
Each in its cauld hand held a light.
By which heroic Tam was able
To note upon the haly table,
A murderer’s banes, in gibbet-airns;
Twa span-lang, wee, unchristened bairns;
A thief, new-cutted frae a rape,
Wi’ his last gasp his gabudid gape;
Five tomahawks, wi’ blude red-rusted:
Five scimitars, wi’ murder crusted;
A garter which a babe had strangled:
A knife, a father’s throat had mangled.
Whom his ain son of life bereft,
The grey-hairs yet stack to the heft;
Wi’ mair of horrible and awfu’,
Which even to name wad be unlawfu’.
Three lawyers tongues, turned inside oot,
Wi’ lies, seamed like a beggars clout,
Three priests hearts, rotten, black as muck,
Lay stinkin, vile in every neuk.

As Tammie glowr’d, amaz’d, and curious,
The mirth and fun grew fast and furious;
The Piper loud and louder blew,
The dancers quick and quicker flew,
The reel’d, they set, they cross’d, they cleekit,
Till ilka carlin swat and reekit,
And coost her  duddies to the wark,
[cast off her clothes]
And linkit at it in her sark!
[lookin' at her nekkid]

Cutty Sark became a popular motif for the figureheads of boats, then the name of the Clipper ship with the Cutty Sark masthead, then finaly the scotch whiskey with the clipper ship on the label. It’s the perfect scotch for drinking until you face the devil.


Setting the Scene: Decorations for 5 Haunted Halloween Scenarios

The following are some of the suggestions we give anyone setting up a Halloween Party or Haunted House. Props we can provide are linked. All Halloween props are available for sale or rental. Email BJ at BJ@Dapppercadaver.com for a quote or more Haunt scenarios and suggestions. Note the importance of actors, timing, drama, and atmosphere as well as props and effects. Be sure to add eerie lighting and sounds!

Scene 1: The Dinning Room:
A long table is set with piles of bloody body parts and partial human corpses. Gothic tabletop candelabras sit on the table and 5 foot tall floor candelabras are around the sides. On the walls are hung changing portraits, grotesque taxidermy and bloody curtains. A vulture perches on one chair, a decomposed skeleton in another. Platters are covered in small bits, eyes, fingers, tongues. Other plates are piled with intestines, hearts and livers. Two actors sit at the table in costume feasting on edible brains, hands, hearts, and faces, instead of silverware they use dissection instruments. Another actor or animatronic is on the table moving and screaming.

Scene 2: Butcher shop
The butcher is an actor in a long white butchers coat with a black butchers apron over top. His apron is strung with a variety of wicked looking steel autopsy instruments. In his hands he has a real chainsaw which still works, but the chain has been removed so it cannot cut. Hanging in chains from the ceiling are several hooks, skinned animals, a half pig, a skinned goat, a half person, a skinned person, a full corpse, and several human limbs. The walls are hung with blood splattered plastic curtains. On a chopping block is a meat grinder with a human hand sticking out the top and ground beef coming out the front. He menaces the crowd as actors behind the plastic curtains reach bloody hands out through slits and beg for help. A row of axes hangs on the wall. Animated heads rotate in torture boxes.


Scene 3: Old Hospital/ Asylum
A Mad Doctor experimenting on patients. The doctor is an actor in a long white lab coat. He holds a steel pistol syringe with a retractable fake needle and has a reflector on his head. Another actor is bound in chains and cuffs to a vintage insane asylum bed. An equally vintage autopsy pump sits beside the patient. Shelves around the scene hold several specimen jars which glow under blacklight. Also on the shelves are plasma balls flickering with lightning effects, human skulls, and the mounted skeletons and mummies of strange creatures. A full size 2 headed skeleton stands beside them. An IV bag filled with blacklight responsive fluid hangs from an IV stand. An large x ray light box covered in x rays glows in the background.

Scene 4: Tribal Headhunters
Scene is a jungle with hut. Head hunter is an actor with a headdress made of lightweight skulls and feathers. His necklace is a variety of small skulls and bones. He holds a large plastic machete and a spiked club. Shrunken heads, severed heads, chickens and skulls hang everywhere. Heads on stakes dot the background. Bright Indonesian devils sit on pedestals. In the foreground a charred body rotates on a spit.

Scene 5: Graveyard
Scene is a graveyard, a few dozen tombstones rise from the ground, amid them a large angel, and 3 large obelisks stand. On the ground is an old wooden coffin, and a pile of dirt and a shovel. In the dirt several bones and body parts can be seen sticking out. A grave digger stands, with a steel bonesaw in his hands. His belt is strung with human hands, rotted hands, and skeletal hands all wearing gawdy jewelry. He opens the casket and inside is the mummy-like corpse of an old woman, decked out in pearls, gold and rings. This would be a good scene to work in an animatronic coffin popper. Grave digger can also interact with the crowd by trying to sell rings with the fingers still inside. Crows and vultures perch on the stones and in the trees. Rats are on the ground. Low lying fog creeps over everything. Moss hangs from everything.


You're Invited To Drawing Blood at Dapper Cadaver Thursday June 4th


On Thursday June 4th, I’d like to invite you to Dapper Cadaver’s first free after hours art event, “Drawing Blood”

WHAT: Drawing Blood – Once a month, The Dapper Cadaver Prop House opens its studios in the evening for a free evening where artists of all kinds are invited to come by and use our unique collection of props, oddities, scientific specimens and equipment, and Halloween decor as models for their art. Sketching, illustration, painting, sculpting and more are encouraged. Props can be artfully arranged to suit your needs. Coffee and snacks will be provided. Most evenings will be free form, but check out our mailing list and blog for info on special nights featuring live models and special instructors. Email me if you’re interested in modeling or instructing. Commercial photography and video not allowed.

BRING: All your own art supplies. We have some chairs and stools but if you need one you may want to bring your own. Any food or drink.

WHEN: 6:30pm -10:00pm, the first Thursday of each month.
March 5th / April 2nd / May 7th / June 4th / July 2nd / August 6th / Sept 3rd / Oct 1st / Nov 5th / Dec 3rd

WHERE: Dapper Cadaver Prop House.
7572 San Fernando Rd, Los Angeles, CA, 91352 (near Burbank)
North side of San Fernando Rd (Little San Fernando Rd), Across the tracks from Sofa U Love.

CONTACT:
BJ Winslow
bj@dappercadaver.com
818-771-0818

MORE INFO
http://www.dappercadaver.com
http://www.bjwinslow.com
http://www.dappercadaver.com/blog

Best regards,
BJ Winslow
Owner-Artist
Dapper Cadaver
NEW PHONE # 818-771-0818
CELL PHONE # 310-709-8691
NEW ADDRESS 7572 San Fernando Rd, Sun Valley, CA, 91352
http://www.bjwinslow.com
http://www.dappercadaver.com

Images from the March 5th Drawing Blood


Scary Early Halloween Sale!

BIG pre-season sale at Dapper Cadaver!

We’ll be giving a whopping 20% off on the first Haunted House order of June over $200 as well as 10% off all Halloween orders placed in June. Contact me at bj@dappercadaver.com or 818-771-0818 to take advantage of the deal of the PRE-season.


I See London I See France Cabaret

FRIDAY May 29th, 2009:
“I See London! I See France!” A Naughty Oddity night of art, music, werewolves, green fairies and more! At the Hive Gallery Downtown LA

$8 or $5 if dressed as a green fairy, werewolf, hunchback, or in your finest lingerie!!
Starts at 8:30 p.m. at The Hive, 729 S. Spring St. Los Angeles, CA 90014

May 29th, 2009

Feminine Oddities LLC

http://www.feminineoddities.com

Presents:

“I See London! I See France!”

What:

“I See London! I See France!” I see Feminine Oddities underpants! May 29th, 2009 the Feminine Oddities host a night of music, performance, art, and more! Imagine a Bordello in France, ladies dancing around in sexy lingerie, werewolves causing chaos, little absinthe fairies tempting and teasing, all in a foggy London scene! Come witness the magic and mystery of “I See London! I See France!” Burlesque, humor, fashion, spooky situations, and “ode et tease” all come together for an unforgettable night that you don’t want to miss!! Come to the Hive to see what happens when London and Paris collide!!

Who:

Feminine Oddities LLC host a traveling art show the last Friday of every month! May it’s a one night stand of art, music, and more titled “I See London! I See France!”. Feminine Oddities LLC was formed by emerging artist and performer Debra Haden to showcase her many talents and the talents of others. The mission and inspiration of this company is derived from the term Wabi-Sabi. It’s an understated beauty that is striking but not obvious, it is imperfect, incomplete and should be treasured because it will not last forever. Feminine Oddities “Where beauty is found in the oddest ways.”

Feminine Oddities Artists:

Debra Haden, Heidi Calvert, Emily Steigerwald, Donna Letterese David Foto, Nikki Windham, Teresa Moore, Audrey McNamara and more…….

Performances:

Music:

RVC

DJ D?J? François

Romak & the Space Pirates

Sexy Performances:

La Fée Verte Filles:

Special burlesque performance with audible accompaniments by “On Holiday”

Featuring:

Alexandra Mathews

Auriana Lynn

Chéri Stems

Jaymie Valentine

Jezebelle X

Juliet Von Snugfit

Feminine Oddities:

Special “Ode et Tease” performance includes singing, tease, and humor.

Featuring:

Deb’onaire

Mama Midnight

‘Rey’diance DeVille

Spooky Performances:

Joe Holliday and Amputette

Flip Cassidy

D.V.L.

Special Guest and Emcee:

B.J Winslow of Dapper Cadaver

http://www.dapercadaver.com

Special Guest and Burlesque Fashion Show:

Leahpatra Fashion Show

Sponsored by:

Dapper Cadaver http://www.dapercadaver.com

Citizen LA http://www.citizenla.com

Costuming by:

Insidious Clothing

Feminine Oddities LLC

Production Credit:

Marianne Williams

Debra Haden

Joe Holliday

When:

May 29th, 2009 doors open at 8:30pm- Midnight. Performances start at 9:00pm.

$8 at the door, $5 if dressed as a werewolf, green fairy, hunchback, or in your finest lingerie!!

Catering by Bar One Catering http://www.baronecatering.com

Where:

The Hive Gallery

729 S. Spring St.
Los Angeles, CA 90014

Best regards,
BJ Winslow
Owner-Artist
Dapper Cadaver / Casualty Simulation
NEW PHONE # 818-771-0818
CELL PHONE # 310-709-8691
NEW ADDRESS 7572 San Fernando Rd, Sun Valley, CA, 91352
http://www.bjwinslow.com
http://www.dappercadaver.com
http://www.Casualtysimulation.com

WE’VE MOVED!

The New Dapper Cadaver is now located at 7572 San Fernando Rd, Sun Valley, CA, 91352 between Vineland Ave and Hollywood Way and on the North side of San Fernando Rd. Here’s a map

http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Sun+Valley&state=CA&address=7572+San+Fernando+Rd

See you in Sun Valley!

Link to BJ Winslow.com by clipping the code below and adding it to your webpage


The Girls of Dapper Cadaver Part 1

Just got through a photoshoot with models Jezebelle X and Radhika from Art of Bleeding. Photos are by Marianne Williams.

embrace death

embrace death

Model: Radhika.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Dapper Cadaver Skeletons

Bone Waltz

Bone Waltz

Model: Jezebelle X.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Decayed Mummy

Baby Skeleton

Baby Skeleton

Model: Radhika.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Antique Fetal Skeleton

Skeleton Line

Skeleton Line

Model: Radhika.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Dapper Cadaver Skeletons

Angels in the Cemetery

Angels in the Cemetery

Model: Radhika and Jezebelle.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Dapper Cadaver Headstones

Cemetery Angel

Cemetery Angel

Model: Radhika and Jezebelle.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Cemetery Angel

Graveyard Jezebelle

Graveyard Jezebelle

Model:  Jezebelle.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Cemetery Monuments and Obelisks

Graveyard Jezebelle 2

Graveyard Jezebelle 2

Weeping Angel

Weeping Angel

Model:  Radhika.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Weeping Angel Headstone

Cemetery Girl

Cemetery Girl

Model:  Radhika.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Custom Engraved Headstones

Cemetery Girls

Cemetery Girls

Embrace Death 2

Embrace Death 2

Baby Skeleton 2

Baby Skeleton 2

Embrace Death 3

Embrace Death 3

Girls and Skeletons

Girls and Skeletons

Model:  Jezebelle and Radhika.  Photographer: Marianne Williams. Props: Display White Skeleton

Embrace Death 4

Embrace Death 4

Embrace Death 5

Embrace Death 5

Embrace Death 6

Embrace Death 6

Weeping Angel  2

Weeping Angel 2

Cemetery Angels 2

Cemetery Angels 2

Bone Waltz 2

Bone Waltz 2

Cemetery Angels 3

Cemetery Angels 3


How To Decorate a Gothic Wedding

Most Gothic Weddings occur in the Fall, the closer to Halloween the better, but any time of the year can be ideal for a gothic wedding. It’s simply a matter of transforming the wedding and reception areas into something more extraordinary. To do that, nothing beats the right gothic wedding decorations.

1. Candelabras – If you’re getting married in a church, or better yet a cathedral or castle, candelabras may already be provided for you. If not finding appropriately gothic candelabras may be trickier then you think. Most party rental places stock white wedding type candelabras, light colors, pearl finishes, etc. They’re also not to keen on you painting their white candlesticks black. Two rental places that do carry black candleabras are BJ Winslow’s Prop Rentals in California and Events Rentals in Arkansas. Both places rent Candelabras at $15-$50 each as of the time this article was written. Winslow offers bulk discounts as well.

2. Flowers- Red roses work with everything, but how about black roses? No natuturally occuring black roses grow, but many floral shops can make them by dying white roses. Carnivourous plants might make an interesting choice, however most are delicate, prone to dying,sticky, or smelly to attract their prey. Alchemy Works has an excellent selection of dark flowers.


Monster Mondays: Franken-Flies

Today Dapper Cadaver’s Monster Mondays goes deep into the Laboratory to find the freakiest flies man has ever made. See, fruit flies are like legos to scientists. They’re simple, cheap, and both easy and fun to tinker with. The result is swarms of strange mutant flies nature never intend but with cool new features and new insights into helping people overcome horrible diseases and disorders. Below Are some of the best. Oh, and by the way, genes are named like drugs.

White Rabbit- Add the gene white rabbit to a fruit fly and you’ve got a fly that can’t get drunk. Why? To win fly drinking contests and help find a treatment to alcoholism.

Cheapdate – These flies get staggering drunk off the tiniest portion of booze. Again the reason is to help treat alcoholism, but the name leads me to believe these flies are being taken advantage of.

Gr66a – Flies that drink coffee.

Kojak – Hairless flies

Groucho – flies with moustaches.

Ken and Barbie- flies with no external sex organs but lots of hot  outfits and cars.

Kenny – flies which die quickly and violently all the time, just like Kenny on South Park!

Van Gogh - flies with swirling hair patterns like Van Goghs Starry night. Bred to swarm fancy cafes.

I’m Not Dead Yet (INDY)- flies which don’t age and live twice as long as natural fruit flies.

Fruity - Male flies with a mutant gene that leads them to court with other males.

Dunce- mutant flies unable to remember anything, despite electric shocks.

Go-go – mutant flies that twitch and shake.

Hot Shi.TS – a mutant flie that acts normal at room temperature but acts drunk in the heat.

Living Dead – flies that look dead but act alive. Zombies Flies.

Sonic Hedgehog – messes up hair growth of larvae.

Tricky Dick – flies with distorted male genetailia.

But wait, there’s more!

Every muntant fly man has discovered or mad is listed here


Monster Mondays: Tyrannosaurus Feathers

Today, Dapper Cadaver’s Monster Mondays has some sad news. Word is pouring in from China of new Dinosaurs, fluffy and covered with delicate colorful plumage. First it was the Velociraptors, once proud ninja’s of the dinosaur world, now just toothed roosters, complete with cocks-comb and dwaddle. More recent finds of fluffy dinos include several Tyrannosaurids. The greatest real monster to ever walk the earth is about to get a make-over in fabulous feathers. It’s absurd. Imagine you’re in a broken down jeep on Jurassic Park, you hear a thump, the water in your cup does that dino sensing thing that you keep cups of water in the car for, then you hear a deafening “Gobble-gobble-gobble” as the largest turkey you’ve ever seen steps out of the woods.

It hasn’t happened yet. The feathered Tyrannosaurids the Chinese have discovered aren’t the King beast, Tyrannosaurus Rex, just his scrawny uncles and cousins, but storm clouds are gathering on the distant pasts future. In 5 years time our children won’t be able to tell Big Bird from Rex, and in 10 years time I wouldn’t be surprised if we stopped calling Tyrannosaurs, Drommeosaurs, and Oviraptors “Feathered Dinosaurs” and started calling them “Toothed Birds.” It must be stopped. If we can make Pluto a planet again through through the shear force of nostalgia, then science be damned, we can keep TRex scaly and terrifying. Join me!

The idea of wearing feathers sickens T Rex’s only living relative, Godzilla.

But Godzilla may not be the only surviving radioactive mutant T Rex for long, apparently, one of the scientists who worked on Jurasic Park (I knew it was a true story!) is working on genetically engineering Chickens to give birth to mutant chicken-osauruses. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Kids need scary monsters to eat there smaller toys and to team up with Batman in kids crayon drawings, to fight cowboys, give King Kong a run for his money, and, scientifically speaking, be 51% MOTHERFUCKER, 49% son-of-a-bitch.

Will T-Rex still be the motherfucker we love and fear if he goes from this to this?

its the new you

its the new you

In closing, I would like to once and for all establish T-Rex as the scaly Tyrant King of Pimps by giving the people what we always wanted- Tyrannosaurus Sex

If you’d like to support the keep T-Rex scaly movement, you can help by buying a Tyrannosaurus skeleton.


Monster Mondays: The Mysterious Lemur Boy of Qatar

Today’s Dapper Cadaver Monster Monday comes from a hot tip that came out just this weekend. The English language “Gulf Times” ran a translation of a Qatar story that featured this creepy photo, and the following text

A mysterious figure resembling a human being was sighted on the Doha Corniche’s parking lot, according to a report published in a local Arabic daily.
The report is based on the statement of an Arab expatriate lady who said she had seen the strange figure near the Oryx statue while walking in the area.
Quoting the woman, the daily said she took a picture of it in spite of being terribly frightened.
“She was very soon surrounded by a large number of people who also attested to the fact of what she had seen . But it suddenly disappeared out of their sight when they tried to go near it,” the report added.”

Some have speculated it’s an escaped Aye-Aye, a kind of hideous lemur native to Madagascar but known to have hilarious adventures adventures in other parts of the world thanks to their anthropomorphic penguin pals.

Others think its a childrens toy (below) and the report that it scurried away is desert induced delierium, like when your buddy starts looking like an ice cream cone.

However, the government of Qatar knew that living self aware half-beast toys would be a problem, which is why they banned them four months ago.  There’s a website called Gen-Pets that purportedly sells living toys that are genetically engineered creatures with a 1 year lifespan and a mix of human and animal genes. The Qatar press ran a front page story on it which led to them nipping the frankentoy craze before the rest of the world even heard about it. They probably had a big problem with them, and this is on of the many gen-pets living feral on the streets today. Always remember to spay and neuter your freaks of nature.

qatar band gen-pets

qatar bans gen-pets

The article states “ Qatar has banned a toy called Gen-pets and had sent letters of warning to all of the Arabic countries to tell them about this toy and to ban it.”

The article also states”

  • That the Jordanian Cabinet prohibited its import into Jordan
  • That religious scholars consider it a violation of human rights and Islamic law “which prohibits mixing human genes and animal genes” (This is a quote from a religion professor at the University of Jordan).”

Also don’t get them wet or feed them after midnight

Now I know a lot of nay-sayers out there are saying that gen-pets are a hoax and the government of Qatar would look pretty foolish if that were true, but the feral gen-pet seen in a grocery store parking lot proves either they’re real, the press has made the populace terrified of dolls to the point of delirious paranoia, or you can get anything into a Qatar newspaper.


Monster Mondays – Bonnacon

Bonnacon is really a creature where the less said about it the better. So I’ll just go straight to the source. Pliny the Elder, author of the worlds first Natural History Encyclopedia and one of ancient Greece’s most brilliant writers. His Natural History is over 160 volumes long and holds the closest thing we have to a complete record of Greek knowledge at that point. He must have thought no one would possibly read the whole thing when he slipped in this gem.

“Pliny- “There are reports of a wild animal in Paeonia called the bonnacon, which has the mane of a horse, but in all other respects resembles a bull; its horns are curved back in such a manner as to be of no use for fighting, and it is said that because of this it saves itself by running away, meanwhile emitting a trail of dung that sometimes covers a distance of as much as three furlongs (half a mile), contact with which scorches pursuers like a sort of fire.”

Yes, Bonnacon is Buffalo followed by half a mile of flaming dung. But words aren’t enough to convey it’s might. We need ridicules illuminated manuscripts of knights getting buffalo shit on them. Better bring a shield.


Monster Mondays – Dolichocephaloids


Todays Monster Monday from Dapper Cadaver travels down the spine of the Americas to Peru, circa 2000 years ago for a kind of person bizarre and real, the Dolichocephaloids or Peruvian Coneheads. There is currently a video going around getting a lot of attention saying they were found in Siberia. This video is wrong, they are from Peru.


What we do know about the Dolichocephaloids is limited, what we believe about them is vast, and what we don’t know about them is enormous.

What we do know – These guys had really long squash shaped heads. They were human. They lived in Peru roughly 2000 years ago. There were a lot of them.

Most had brains the same size as other humans (1400-1600cc) others had larger brains, up to 2000cc or 2 liters. If you want to experience how much larger that is get a human skull and fill the brain case up with soda. Empty a whole 2 liter bottle. Whatever spills on your desk is how much bigger their brains are then ours.


What we believe – leading scientific theories about the coneheads is they were an elite class of Peruvian, they seam to show signs in their graves of wealth and power. They do seam to be a class rather then a race of Peruvians, as they are almost always found with many normal people around them. It is believed that the conehead shape was achieved by binding an infants skull at a very young age to warp its growth. We believe they believed these deformed skulls would give them power, possibly mystical powers.

Pseudo-science believes these people are human-alien hybryds, a lost race, mystical mutants, psychics, telekenetics, and more.

The documentary “Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” explains a lot of these theories.

It’s also possible they deformed their skulls for the sake of beauty, similar to the beautiful deformities of foot binding and augmented breasts.

Some believe the deformations were done as punishments. Although it is known the Peruvians would often use mutilation as punishment against conquered peoples or enemies, the Dolichocephaloids seam both privileged and deformed in a way that could not be done quickly against someones will. However, recent findings of a conehead in a lower-class village with clearly mutilated bodies is extremely mysterious.

Since we haven’t shaped a human skull into that form in over 2,000 years, we only can hypothesize, and not test, how it was done and what effect, if any, it had on the persons brain and mental abilities.


The Mummy's Womb


the mummy’s womb, originally uploaded by Boju.

Eileen and I are super damn proud to announce we’re gonna be parents!

The baby is almost 12 weeks old, which puts it at the start of it’s second trimester. Eileen got photos and saw the baby wave, here it is below

That’s his head on the left, feet on the right,and that light blob near his head is his (or her) hand. We don’t know the baby’s gender yet,because they don’t grow any until closer to the fifth month. I tend to call it a him because I don’t like calling it an IT. It’s about doubled in size in the last month,going from being gummy bear sized to being fun-sized snickers size.

If we could get a real photo instead of this batman style sonar image, he would look like this

The baby is healthy with a strong heart and growing at the right rate. I missed the last picture session because Eileen thought it was going to be just a checkup with no paparazzi, but I was at the first one 4 weeks ago. You can’t tell in the photo, but during the live ultrasound you could see it’s heart beating as a pulse of light, E.T. style. You could also hear the heart going wooshwooshwoosh. Seeing that and hearing that was probably the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my life.


Monster Mondays: Phantom of the Oscars

The Academy Awards, AKA,the Oscars, have a notorious history of nominating dramas beyond all other categories. In fact 49% off all the Best Pictures out there are dramas, according to Oscar. Fighting for the left over scraps of best picture awards are the genres, in order comedy, epic, musical, action-adventure, war, suspense, and crime. Horror doesn’t make the list, having only one win for best picture 90 years. And if you’re wondering about how comedy came in second, you’re not alone. According to the Oscars the greatest comedies of all time include Tom Jones (1963), The Sting (1973),The Apartment (1960), Terms of Endearment (1983), Driving Miss Daisy (1989), Shakespeare in Love (1998) and American Beauty (1999). Hilarious?

While they seldom win best picture, or anything at all, some really landmark horror films have been nominated for Oscars. Here’s a history of Horror at the Academy I like to call
“The Phantoms of the Oscars”


1927 – Metropolis
Nominations: 0
Winner for Best Picture: Wings
Why it should have won: Metropolis is a ground breaking picture way ahead of it’s time in calling for sex robots and middle management. The special effects are still mesmerizing as is the performance of Bridgette Helm.
Why it didin’t Win: Too weird, too nihilistic ,too German.
Verdict: Oscar the Grouch!


Nominations: 0
Winner of Best Picture: Cavalcade.
Why it should have won: Groundbreaking special effects, infectious enthusiasm. Hot monkey on girl action.
Why it didn’t win: Oscars known anti-monkey prejudices.
Verdict: I think Oscar is trying to make it up to the original King Kong by giving an Oscar to every King Kong since and even that imitator Mighty Joe Young. Unfortunately all this just feels like a slap in the face. Stop awarding the copycats and just give a honorary oscar to the OG already.


1935 – Bride of Frankenstein
Nominations: 1
Wins:0
Winner of Best Picture: Mutiny on the Bounty


1939 – The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Nominations: 2
Wins: 0
Winner of Best Picture: Gone with the Wind


1960- Psycho
Nominations:4
Wins:0
Winner of Best Picture: The Apartment


1968 – Rosemary’s Baby
Nominations: 2
Wins:1 Best Actress in a Supporting Role, Ruth Gordon
Winner of Best Picture: Oliver!
Note: We have our first horror movie to win an Oscar! Although the real stars didn’t win – Roman Polanski’s oscar nominated screenplay and the amazing lead actress Mia Farrow.


1971 – A Clockwork Orange
Nominations: 4, including best director, best picture, and best writing
Wins: 0
Winner of Best Picture: The French Connection
Note: Watch the French Connection back to back with A Clockwork Orange to experience what it must have been like to live in 1971, a time when Oscar had balls.


1976 – Carrie
Nominations: 2
Wins:0
Winner for Best Picture: Rocky
Should have won: Taxi Driver
Note: Still basking in the ballsy glow of Oscar in the 70′s


1980 – The Shining
Nominations: 0, 0? Seriously? That movie ruled.
Wins: You can’t win if you’re not nominated.
Winner of Best Picture: Ordinary People
Note: The 70′s ended with one of the greatest horror movies of all time not even getting nominated.


1980 -Alien
Nominations:2
Wins: 1 for best visual effects! We have our second Oscar winning Horror movie!


1982 – Poltergeist
Nominations: 3
Wins: 0

1982 – Blade Runner
Nominations: 2
Wins: 0
Winner of Best Picture: Ghandi
Note: We can all agree 1982 was an awesome year for movies and we can all agree cyborgs and ghosts in the TV could take Ghandi for a ride any time they want.


1984 – Ghostbusters
Nominations: 2
Wins: 0
Winner of Best Picture: Amadeus
Note: Since the telephone had only been invented early that year, American’s were captivated by it. The Ghostbusters “Who You Gonna Call?” theme song was nominated for best original song Oscar but lost to Stevie Wonder’s “I just Called to Say I love You.” Both of them make great voicemail messages.


1991 – Silence of the Lambs
Nominations: 7
Wins: 5 including Best Picture
FINALLY! Thank you Oscar. I’ll stop bitching now and let you go back to business as usual.


1993 – Nightmare Before Christmas
Nominations:1
Wins:0
Winner of Best Picture: Schindler’sList
Note: Lets see you try selling Schindlers List babydoll T’s at Hot Topic!


1995 – Se7en
Nominations: 1
Wins: 0
Winner of Best Picture: Braveheart


2005 – Pan’s Labyrinth
Nominations:6
Wins: 3
Note: It took 15 years but we finally have another Horror(ish) film winning multiple Oscars. That means on my top ten list of Oscar winning horror it’s number 2, right after Silence of the Lambs, and right before Alien, Rosemary’s Baby, and 6 empty slots.

If there’s any justice in the Academy Hellboy II will get the Oscar for best Makeup, beating out critic favorites Benjamin Button and the Dark Knight. Go watch the Troll market scene again and tell me that’s not as good as old age stipple and runny clown face.


You're Invited to Drawing Blood at Dapper Cadaver

On Thursday March 5th, I’d like to invite you to Dapper Cadaver’s first free after hours art event, “Drawing Blood”

WHAT: Drawing Blood – Once a month, The Dapper Cadaver Prop House opens its studios in the evening for a free evening where artists of all kinds are invited to come by and use our unique collection of props, oddities, scientific specimens and equipment, and Halloween decor as models for their art. Sketching, illustration, painting, sculpting and more are encouraged. Props can be artfully arranged to suit your needs. Coffee and snacks will be provided. Most evenings will be free form, but check out our mailing list and blog for info on special nights featuring live models and special instructors. Email me if you’re interested in modeling or instructing. Commercial photography and video not allowed.

BRING: All your own art supplies. We have some chairs and stools but if you need one you may want to bring your own. Any food or drink.

WHEN: 6:30pm -10:00pm, the first Thursday of each month.
March 5th / April 2nd / May 7th / June 4th / July 2nd / August 6th / Sept 3rd / Oct 1st / Nov 5th / Dec 3rd

WHERE: Dapper Cadaver Prop House.
7572 San Fernando Rd, Los Angeles, CA, 91352 (near Burbank)
North side of San Fernando Rd (Little San Fernando Rd), Across the tracks from Sofa U Love.

CONTACT:
BJ Winslow
bj@dappercadaver.com
818-771-0818

MORE INFO
http://www.dappercadaver.com
http://www.bjwinslow.com
http://www.dappercadaver.com/blog

Best regards,
BJ Winslow
Owner-Artist
Dapper Cadaver
NEW PHONE # 818-771-0818
CELL PHONE # 310-709-8691
NEW ADDRESS 7572 San Fernando Rd, Sun Valley, CA, 91352
http://www.bjwinslow.com
http://www.dappercadaver.com


Monster Mondays – Dumbo Octopus


dumbo-octopus, originally uploaded by Boju.

Today Dapper Cadaver’s Monster Monday Blog dives down to the bottom of the sea for one of the strangest, and rarest creatures on earth- the Dumbo Octopus.

They live all over the world in depths of 12,000 feet and below. They’ve discovered new species of them as recently as 2007 and while most are 20cm and below, some grow to over 5 feet. If you’re in Sarasota, Florida, then I highly recommend visiting the Mote Marine Laboratory which is offering lectures and encounters with their favorite sea monsters, including the dancing pink elephant with the weird ear-wings, the dumbo Octopus.

Watching the Dumbo Octopus swim is like watching a bird crossed with a pac-man ghost. It flaps its wings instead of jets around like it’s blue water cousins. It also has unnervingly human eyes, complete with what appears to be pink eye lids, whites, and irises. Their familiar eye just adds to their oddness though, as there is nothing else familiar about their face, and you can’t figure out which end is the front.

Closer to the ground they move by spinning and fluttering their webbed arms like a pinwheel.

The males are armed with a tentacle-like hectocotylus, which is a word you really ought to know if you watch enough anime.


Monster Monday – Ugjuknarpak


7swims, originally uploaded by Boju.

Todays Monster Monday by Dapper Cadaver comes from the Inuit (eskimo) people of Alaska, behold the mighty Ugjuknarpak! The unkillable sea-mouse of the sea that is also a giant!

Ugjuknarpak’s name derives from the gurgling sound his victims make as he wraps his long prehensile tail around their necks and drags them under. His friends call him Ugjuk for short. Ugjuk doesn’t have any friends though, because no one goes near Ugjuk’s island. Ugjuk has exceptional hearing and speed, and a hide that cannot be pierced by any hunters weapon. Try kayaking over to his place and you’ll be dead before you leave the harbor. All that will be leftis your overturned canoe.

Do not f*ck with this mouse!


LA Weekly Interview

If you’re in Los Angeles, pick up this weeks LA Weekly. It’s free and worth every penny. There’s a full page feature on Dapper Cadaver with a full color photo and everything. It’s a great article and gives you a good behind the scenes look at the oddities we make and the oddballs we make them for.

Read the Dying Art of Dyeing the Dead in LA Weekly here


You're Uninvited

The Univited is coming, and Dapper Cadaver is pleased to announce we did lots of props for the film. To celebrate the Launch Paramount Pictures is giving out tickets and swag, and they dropped off a contest box in my shop. Come on by Mon-Fri 10-6 to see up close and personal some of the bodies and props used in the film, do a little shopping, and enter to when prizes and free passes to The Uninvited, starring Elizabeth Banks, Emily Browning, David Strathairn, and Arielle Kebbel is coming to theaters January 30th! Make sure you’re not the one uninvited…

For more information on the film, please visit http://www.uninvitedmovie.com.


Monster Monday – Memecoleus

memecoleous
Today’s Dapper Cadaver Monster Monday creature comes from India, by way of Europe. You see there was a lot of disagreement over what exactly a Manticore was. Some described it as a lion with the head of a man. Some described it as a lion with wings. Some described it as a lion with both the head of a man and wings. Some said it was like a were- lion that men turn into. Some described it as a lion with the head of a man, huge jaws with three rows of teeth, the tail of a scorpion and a voice like trumpets. This man was Pliny the Elder and he was considered brilliant. Some said the Manticore wasn’t actually part lion but part tiger. This was crazy and clearly wrong, so they decided if a Manticore was part tiger instead of part lion it was a Memcoleous and it must be from India because that’s where tigers are from. This helped a little, but they still couldn’t decide what a Manticore was and only agreed on the lion part. This is probably because no one has ever seen a Manticore.

This is not a Manticore but it might be a Memecoleous.


Monster Mondays – Killer Geese


monster goose, originally uploaded by Boju.

By now you’ve probably heard America’s borders are under attack. Canada has launched an armada of killer geese in an attempt to shoot down American aircraft. Earlier this week, US Airbus 320 was struck by a flock of Canadian Geese, taking out its engines, and forcing it to crash into the Hudson River. Fortunately everyone survived, but be warned, killer geese are intent on striking again.

As part of Dapper Cadaver’s Monster Mondays today I invite you to gander at a gaggle of ghoulish geese.


Dromornis- The Great Goose of Armageddon
Dromornis were flightless geese over 10 ft tall that ate meat and plants and terrorized Australias first aborigines. They were a cryptid known as Mihirung paringmal to the aborigines, and considered mythological until they’re skeletons were unearthed in the 20th century. These were basically dinosaurs dressed in goosedown. And there wasn’t just one of them, there were dozens of species, including the giant, carnivorous Bullockornis, so named because a giant killer goose sounds like a load of bullocks.


Dasornis – The Toothed Terror of the Sky.
These geese could easily take down a plane, since they were almost as big as a Cesna.Dasornis had a wingspan of 20 feet, and a long crocodile beak lined with jagged teeth. The circled the shores of England 50 million years ago.

With such monsters in Gooses not to distant past, it’s no wonder they’re so prone to attack, whether by chasing you in the park or shooting down on passenger planes. So grab your pitchfork and light the torch, it’s time to storm the castles of Count Duckula


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 542 other followers