Dark Spots in Tinsel Town: Monster Hunting in LA
You make think Bigfoots are only a Northwoods beast, but Los Angeles has 3 distinct breeds of city ape. The first is your standard bigfoot, 6-11 ft tall shaggy gigantopithecus. The first sighting came in 1973 when a full sized Macho Sasquatcho chased down a pick up truck out in San Fernando Valley. The beast got close enough to the vehicle that they could smell its breath, which they later told reporters was “stinky.” In 1974 a bigfoot was actually seen in the city, between 45th st and 47th st on Quartz Hill.
Best places to go bigfoot hunting: Big Rock Canyon in San Fernando Valley, Quartz Hill in the San Gabriel Mountains, Azusa at the San Gabriel Mountain Foothills, Campgrounds in Santa Clarita, Elizabeth Lake, Lancaster.
9. Skunk Ape
Bigfoots little brother is most commonly sighted in Florida, but he’s also been seen in Palos Verdes and Redondo Beach, moving in and out of the suburbs via the sewers and knocking over trash cans for food. Skunk ape stands about 4 to 5 feet tall and reeks.
Best Place to go Skunk Ape hunting: Palos Verdes near the Dominator shipwreck. Redondo beach fields and suburbs at night.
8. The Beast of Billiwhack
The third kind of LA bigfoot might not be an ape at all. Seen once in Santa Paula and once in nearby Ojai, the Billiwhack beast has an shaggy, grey-black ape-like body, but an extended muzzle and goat like horns. It may be related to the Krampus or Wampa. Known to raid farms for chicken, corn, and dairy products.
Best places to go Billiwhack hunting: The Billiwhack Dairy in Aliso Canyon, Santa Paula, farms and forests in the San Rafael mountains and Ojai.
7. Starcle Men
Believed to be visiting aliens or inter-dimensional beings, Starcle men are mysterious in nature and seem to only appear to people in an altered state of consciousness.
Best place to see Starcle Men – Sewers and tunnels beneath LA. Signs of their pressence is marked by locals with angry eyed, star man graffiti.
5.Gray Aliens – Out in Lancaster it seams everyone has seen a UFO at one point or another, and locals get into heated debates as to whether Gray Aliens have a sinister plan for us, or are the good guys trying to save us from the evil Reptoids. The mankind united cult of the 1930’s and the scien-ology cult of today both base a lot of their doctrine on the earthly struggles of good and bad extra terrestrials.
Best place to spot UFO’s – Mt Baldy, Giant Rock in Landers, Lancaster.
4. Sea Serpents
Sailors off the California coast from Monterey to Mexico occasionally reported seeing giant, hundred foot long sea serpents with human faces staring up at them from beneath the surface of the water or skimming along the surface. And it turned out to be real. Oar Fish like the one pictured above can reach hundreds of feet in length, exhibit all the behaviors of the California sea serpent, and even have a flat face and forehead, that at night or through the distortion of the water could easily be seen as human.
Best Place to go Sea Serpent Hunting: East Cape of Baja California, San Diego.
3. The Thunderbird
Since native American times people have reported seeing gigantic birds of prey flying over the Los Angeles valley with wings so powerful they sound like thunder and bring storms.. Some people even claim to have found their enormous feathers. In the La Brea Tar Pits bones of vultures that would dwarf even the larges condor have been found, leading some to speculate the Thunderbird may be a surviving Ice Age Vulture.
Best Place to see the ThunderBird: The La Brea Tar Pits Museum
2. Demons of Elizabeth Lake
Elizabeth Lake, near Lancaster, was believed by the natives to be a gateway to Hell. From that lake witnesses have seen Dragons, Giant Bats, Giant Pythons,and Reptoids emerge. Livestock near that water have been mysteriously devoured. In the 1880’s a farmer saw a six legged bulldog with bat wings feeding on a steer, he opened fire on it with his colt .45 but the bullets bounced off. In the 1990’s a horned kangaroo with bat wings was seen bounding away from the lake in broad daylight. Several goat carcasses were found mysteriously killed that week.
Best Place to go Demon Hunting: Elizabeth Lake, Lancaster
Reptoids are, according to legends, a race of reptilian men that live in tunnels and underground cities throughout Los Angeles and Lancaster. Stories about them date back to Indian times, some Indians called the “Snake Brothers,” others lived in terror of them. All manner of conspiracies are linked back through them, from drug epidemics to UFO’s to genetic engineering to the Illuminati to government mind control. They may be evolved Dinosaurs, Aliens, Demons, or interdimensional beings. They can be invisible. They feed on fear and will climb onto people back to control them, menace them and eat their fear. The mouths of their subterranean tunnels are believed to be in Lancaster. For more info check out http://www.reptoids.com.
Best Places to Go Reptoid Hunting: Elizabeth Lake, Lancaster, Fort Moore Hill, the public library on Fifth st, the Southwest museum on museum dr, at the foot of Mt Washington.